Surrender to the Truth

Written by Toni Morales on the Memorial of Saint John of the Cross

Has someone ever asked you a question you were reluctant to answer honestly?  The honest answer might have risked your reputation, weakened your position in an argument, or disclosed your dishonesty.  So what do we do instead? We squirm.  We tell half-truths (which some wise person once told me, is a whole lie), or offer something that’s provocative yet tangential to the original question.  Or we might just lie and say we don’t know the answer. The simplest route–honesty–is somehow out of the question.  We cannot let go of protecting the ego we have carefully constructed.

The Pharisees in today’s gospel find themselves in this predicament.  They initially ask Jesus a question about his authority, and he tells them he’ll be honest with them if they are honest with him.  They weigh the consequences of the two possible answers they could give him, with one revealing their dishonesty, and the other incurring potential wrath from the Jewish community, and finally decide to say, “We don’t know.”  Their response fails to get them what they had wanted–destroying Jesus’ authority–and instead undercuts their own authority in the community.

I have to imagine that this is an uncomfortable moment for the Pharisees.  What is the alternative?  If we look to our first reading today from the Book of Numbers, we might have a clue.  The oracle, Balaam, describes himself as “a man whose eye is true…who hears what God says, and knows what the Most High knows…one who sees what the Almighty sees, enraptured, and with eyes unveiled.”  Balaam has managed to get himself out of the way in order to convey God’s message of love and hope to His people, Israel.  Balaam places no impediment to the word of God speaking through him, even though speaking the truth enrages Balak, the King of the Moabites who had engaged Balaam to put a curse on the Israelites.

Speaking the truth can make us vulnerable.  Yet in disarming ourselves we turn to God in trust, believing that God will use the opening we have made with our honesty to enter into our chaotic and anxious situations.  Thus vulnerable, we make space for Jesus to be born in our daily lives.

Questions for Reflection:
What do you do when faced with difficult questions?
Do you play out which answer will result in the most beneficial outcome, or are you just honest?
How has God acted in your honesty?

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Toni Morales
Toni is a long-time parishioner at St. Mary’s. She works for UM in helping liberal arts undergraduates manage their academic careers, discern their direction, and achieve their goals. A lifetime Michigander, she lives in Ann Arbor with her sweet husband and currently no furry friends–for now.
Email: weena@umich.edu