Month: March 2015

A Heart Divided Against Itself…

Written by Abby Braun on Thursday of the Third Week of Lent

I am a peacemaker—in my family and circles of friends, in my work as a campus minister, and in most areas of my life.  I’m also a people-pleaser.  If someone disapproves of me, or if people around me are arguing, I feel unsettled and rush for the easy solution.  When possible I avoid conflict and seek harmony over discord. So I struggle with the kinds of words that Jesus uses in today’s Gospel: demon, divided, armed, attack, against. I prefer the Jesus who invites us to love our neighbor as ourselves, who gathers little children in his arms and promises us a life of joy and peace. The Jesus we encounter in today’s Gospel makes me uncomfortable.

Yet Jesus didn’t come to make us comfortable. Jesus came that we might have life, and have it more abundantly. Of course as Christians we are ever aware, especially in this season of Lent, that the life Jesus offers will not be without struggle, suffering, discomfort, and yes, the dreaded conflicts.

“Every kingdom divided against itself will be laid waste.” The image that keeps coming back to me, as I imagine myself in this Gospel story, is the image of my heart as a “kingdom.” The reign of God enters into the world first and foremost through the human heart. Jesus, then, asks me to consider, “How is my heart divided?” How is my attention, my energy, my love, my life divided between things that are of God and things that are not of God?

Where is the good news in all of this for a peacemaker like me?  Jesus doesn’t stir up conflict for conflict’s sake.  He invites us into places that are uncomfortable so that we can be set free and become more loving, more generous, more joyful – more of who we were created to be.  He invites us into a peace that is deeper and far more profound than the absence of conflict. And God does not let us walk alone on the journey toward a united kingdom, a united heart. Jesus is indeed with us always until the end of the age, healing our brokenness and shining light into our lives.

Questions for Reflection:
Does anything from the Gospel or Jesus’ way of being make you uncomfortable?  What might this mean?  How is the Holy Spirit guiding you in the midst of your discomfort?
What areas of your life (or your heart) feel divided?  Where/when do you feel most at peace and united with God? How might you make more space for those things that are of God?

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Abby Braun
Abby has served as a campus minister at St. Mary’s since 2012.  After studying theology as an undergraduate student at the University of Notre Dame and Pastoral Ministry as a graduate student at the University of Dayton, Abby worked for four years as a Campus Minister at Saint Louis University where she met her husband, Bob.  She is especially grateful to be a part of a Jesuit Parish that serves a University community.  Abby works part-time at St. Mary’s and spends the rest of her days at home/toddling around Ann Arbor with her one-year-old daughter, Eleanor.
Email: aabraun@umich.edu

Now is the Time to Act

Written by Rachel Conner on the Third Sunday of Lent

When I was younger I had a really hard time making decisions, especially when those decisions involved leaving my very small comfort zone. Friends and family would ask me to go places and do things, and I was filled with anxiety at the thought of leaving my sphere of familiarity. After all, I liked it there and I knew what was expected of me. However, many of the opportunities I was offered seemed fun and exciting and I knew they would give me a chance to live out my faith in a vibrant and tangible way. I often found myself caught between being uncomfortable and unsure and doing something God might be asking me to do. I couldn’t bring myself to decide whether to go or whether to stay, and my indecision ended up becoming my decision.

Then, at the beginning of my senior year of high school, my mom asked me if I wanted to go on a mission trip to Guatemala in the spring. I said, “I’ll think about it.” She heard, “Oh my gosh, I would totally love to go!” After a whirlwind of events that I had very little control of, I found myself with a plane ticket, passport, and a donated gift for the organization I would be working with. I was on my way to Guatemala without ever having officially agreed to go.

Looking back, I am so thankful to have gone on that trip. I encountered Christ in the form of those I was serving and in the leaders of the program. I was the youngest member of the trip by about 40 years, but I was welcomed with open and loving arms by the other group members. I saw how important community was to the people I was serving and how reliance on each other was second nature for them.

I’m eternally grateful that I never got the chance to turn down the opportunity to travel to Guatemala. When I returned I couldn’t help but wonder what if I had missed opportunities because of my indecision. What chances for personal growth had I let pass by? What might God have been calling to in those places I was too worried to go? I resolved from then on to never let a chance pass me by, and to actively reach out of my comfort zone.

God has placed many opportunities before me as he does for all of us, and it’s up to us to take action and respond.

Questions for reflection:
Has there ever been a time when you had trouble making a decision?
What opportunities for action is God presenting you with right now?

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 Rachel Conner
Rachel is a peer minister at St. Mary Student Parish for the current academic year. She is originally from central Wisconsin, adores cats, and deeply loves to travel.
Email: rconner@smspnewman.org

To See the Promise Within

Written by Amy Olszewski on Saturday of the Second Week of Lent

The story today of the prodigal son is often a hard one for the faithful to understand. We know, on the surface, why the father greets his wayward son with such fanfare and welcome, but it sure is a tough time for the diligent son who has worked and obeyed his father for so many years. We never know if he grows to share the joy his father has on his prodigal son’s return or if he finds it possible to enjoy that fatted calf dinner.

Oh, how we love things to be “fair” and so we hold on to our grudges — the grade not given, the promotion not received, the girl or boy who went to the movies with your best friend, but not with you. “But, I’m the worthy one”, we say. Our test of faith is to see the promise within. The father sees that his son has come home, repentant of his behavior. He sees a future with two sons, instead of one. He does not look back to the past but towards the future.

God’s love is gloriously abundant and forgiving. The Psalm today says, “He does not treat us as our sins deserve” but treats us as flawless and complete. How lucky we are to be given a fresh start every time we turn to the Lord with a true, open heart and ask for assistance. How fortunate we are to have a God that sees the promise we all have within us to be as He envisions!

Today, may you view the world through God’s eyes, accepting and seeing the promise in the good times and also in the challenges placed before you. Celebrate those challenges, turn your concerns over to the Lord and live in His love.

Question for Reflection & Suggestion for Prayer
What grudge have I carried that needs to be turned over to the Lord today?”
Find joy in another’s good fortune today.

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Amy Olszewski
Amy is a resident parishioner at St. Mary Student Parish.
Email: olszewscy@sbcglobal.net

Open My Eyes

Written by Katie Larin on Friday of the Second Week of Lent

Open my eyes, Lord. Help me to see your face. Open my eyes, Lord. Help me to see.

I am currently in the Dominican Republic, serving on Alternative Spring Break. This week’s theme is “Now is the time to see.” I could not think of a better theme for this week of service. As I encounter new people and communities, people who live lives drastically different from my own, I must remember to see first.

Have you ever looked at someone and thought that you had them figured out? I’m definitely guilty of this. I’ll look at classmates in a lecture hall, friends on campus, or even families at St. Mary’s, and project my own thoughts on them. Sometimes I’ll think, “That person has the perfect life, or that couple must have the most amazing marriage – they would never have trouble or flaws.” Other times, I’ll do the opposite. I’ll assume that the person sitting on the street suffers from addiction and therefore needs help from others, or that the driver who just cut me off is innately spiteful.

In these times, I’m looking, but I’m not seeing. And I’m definitely not taking the time to understand.

To truly open my eyes to the reality of others, I must see as Jesus sees. And in order to see as Jesus sees, I need to ask for the grace to love as Jesus loves. Only in love can we begin to understand another’s experiences. Only in love can we see each person as a child of our Father.

As I have prayed about the trip, one song in particular has continued to play in my head: “Open My Eyes,” from the Voices as One book. I invite you to listen to this song, and think about the ways your eyes could be opened, ways you could love like Jesus and see God’s face, in places we’d never known.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo6gZAUuQ3E]

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Katie Larin
Katie is a senior at the University of Michigan, majoring in Organizational Studies. She is the current Outreach and Engagement Intern, and plans to do a year of service after graduation.
Email: kqlarin@umich.edu

In God’s Loving Gaze

Written by Kelly Dunlop on Thursday of the Second Week of Lent

11pm. 1:10am. 3am. 5:20am. I swore I had only just shut my eyes when the cry began again, sending pangs of anxiousness through my body and necessitating my need to get up. I rolled over to sit on the edge of the bed completely sleep deprived and feeling desperate in a pile of tears.

“I’m not sure I can do this,” I thought to myself.

“How will I get through another day?”

I stumbled to her room to embrace all 8lbs of my little girl. In a zombie like state I made our way to the Lazy boy to nurse. And it was there, in a quiet moment of rocking together in the still wee hours of the morning when our eyes met and locked in with one another, that I was transfigured.

The first few weeks of life, an infant cannot focus much more than a foot in front of them- nearly equal from the breast to the eyes- and researchers have found that as a child gazes upon his/her mother and a mother on their child the brain produces a surge of oxytocin, the love hormone, in both of them. Miraculous. As I gazed into my daughter’s eyes and she back into mine I was completely comfortable, resulting in a deep internal peace and holistic sense of self in the truest sense. How seldom it is that we stare into the eyes of another for any prolonged time, even those we care for most deeply, without pulling away slightly embarrassed or uncomfortable. It was in that mundane and yet sacred moment, that I knew my own belovedness because I saw and felt it gazing back at me.

“This is my beloved Son. Listen to him. “

So often I get caught up in the “Lenten stuff”- the ashes, no meat on Fridays, give up this; give away more; follow the rules and recite the lines. Yet God invites all of us in this sacred time of preparation to rest in God’s loving gaze, with complete vulnerability and to know Him and be known in the most profound way.

Questions for Reflection:
Who are the people in your life whose relationship with God illumines their way of seeing other people and events? What have they taught you?
In what ways are you aware of your own limited vision? What blocks you from seeing more to life than routine or burden?

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Kelly Dunlop
Kelly was delighted to join the campus ministry staff at St. Mary’s in 2011. Before coming to St. Mary’s, Kelly was the associate director for social justice at the Newman Parish at her alumnus the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill where she studied psychology (’02) and social work (’05). While her heart still bleeds Carolina Blue, she and her family (husband Paul and children Conor and Erin) have truly come to find a home in Ann Arbor.
Email: kdunlop@smspnewman.org

Finding Meaning in Service

Written by Jon Perry on Wednesday of the Second Week of Lent

As Spring break approaches, preparations are being made for cross country trips to beautiful vacation spots and back home for some home cooking. I am preparing mentally and spiritually for a whole other type of break.  I have the great privilege to be able to travel to Baltimore, Maryland and serve the community there through the Alternative Spring Break program here at St. Mary. This will be my second ASB experience, as last year I traveled to Meridian, Mississippi to work in conjunction with Habitat for Humanity and help rebuild a home for an elderly man.

This opportunity is not new to me, as my faith life has been closely tied with service since very early in my life. From a young age, I was raised in a typical Catholic home and have always attended Sunday Mass and been around my parish several times a week. Throughout grade school and then fully in to high school, I was involved in my parish’s youth group, which was heavily predicated on service. Additionally, I was a member of the National Honor Society where further service opportunities were made available to me.

Up until that point, service was always a great way to give back and use my time in a very proactive and good way. However, when I came to study here at the University of Michigan, I no longer had the opportunity to serve within my youth group or NHS. Without the daily option to serve others, I realized how much of an impact the act of service had on me. I have been extremely blessed again to have found the Service Fraternity Alpha Phi Omega, in addition to St. Mary’s where I can serve others. But this wasn’t all, I have found, through my growth spiritually with God, that the service to others is just as much a blessing for those serving as it is to those being served. Service isn’t just an activity, it’s a lifestyle.

Question for Reflection & Suggestion for Prayer:
How has service impacted your life and what does it mean to you?
Have a conversation with God about how he wants you to serve others.

Jon Perry
Jon is a sophomore studying Sport Management within the School of Kinesiology. In addition to being involved at St. Mary Student Parish, he is a member of the service fraternity Alpha Phi Omega and the student group Students Helping Honduras.  He works in the sports section at WOLV TV and plays on the U of M Club Baseball team.
Email: perryjon@umich.edu

Seeing in the Dark

Written by Sharon Diotte on Tuesday of the Second Week of Lent

One of the many delights of retirement is the release from the constraints of the clock, especially when it comes to sleep. I’m often awake for an hour or two in the middle of the night. Other elder women tell me they too experience this interrupted sleep pattern. When we were younger, such interruptions in sleep were bothersome, resulting in lowered energy on the job the next day, but when we don’t have to get up early for work or child care in the morning, waking up in the middle of the night becomes a relaxed God call.

When I awake during the night, I give myself a chance to drift back into dream space. After fifteen minutes or so, if I’m still awake, I move to the small sofa in my office to sit with God. My office is my special God space in my home: photos of my ancestors and my children line the walls with small vases of fresh flowers honoring my parents and grandparents. An altar with images of Jesus and the Blessed Mother sits in one corner. The colors and textures of my God room are especially soothing for me. Always, upon entering this room, I feel deeply calmed and nourished.

Prayer time in the dark of the night, when the veil between the worlds is thinned, is a time of silent surrender. In this setting, my attention slides easily from my head down into my torso where God waits lovingly within me. This is a time to simply sit in the presence of God within. There are no thoughts, only an empty listening, an empty watching, an empty readiness. In this dark space of surrender, transformation happens. I am no longer my body or my personality or the events of my life. I am more. I am eternal. I Am.

Questions for Reflection:
Do you have a special God place in your home? If not yet, what would that space look like?
As you prepare to resurrect in Christ can you gift yourself with a consistent time to sit silently with your inner I AM?

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Sharon Diotte
Sharon is a retired parishioner at St. Mary Student Parish.
Contact: sharondiotte@hotmail.com