Happily Ever After: A Lesson in Mercy

Written by Amy Ketner on Wednesday of the Fifth Week of Lent

Sometimes romantic comedies and Disney love stories really frustrate me.  They always seem to end at the fairy-tale moments – the kiss, the proposal, the happily-ever-after.  Well, anyone who has been in a long-term relationship (I imagine especially those who have been married for many years) can attest to the fact that relationships are never simply a happily-ever-after.  They are complicated, messy and a lot of work, and there is pain, growth and beauty in that.

In a similar way, I often find myself struggling with Scripture stories.  They are packed with parables and moments in Jesus’ life in which he shares powerful messages for all to hear and learn from.  But many times they leave me desiring more.  For example, in last Sunday’s Gospel about the woman who was caught in adultery, the story ends when all the scribes and Pharisees leave Jesus alone with the woman.  None have condemned her after all, and Jesus said “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.”  The story ends there.

I can’t help but wonder what the scribes and Pharisees continued to feel and reflect upon that day.  Did they truly forgive the woman or did they continue to judge her?  And the woman – was she able to forgive herself?  I find it harder to forgive myself than others, even when I know God has already shown mercy on me.  Perhaps that woman also experienced what I experience.  I wonder if it was hard for her to “sin no more”.

In thinking similarly about the Prodigal Son, I ponder the story from a new angle, as Fr. Eric encouraged last week.  My new angle is one not mentioned in the parable: what happens after the party??  After any big falling out, it’s often uncomfortable or awkward to start rebuilding the relationship, even when forgiveness has been granted.  Can you imagine how the older brother must have felt as he learned to let go of his pride and love his brother again?  Or the younger brother as he let go of his shame and let his family back into his life?

Mercy is messy.  It’s a long process of letting go of pride and hurt, of being humble and letting others back into our lives.  It’s learning to accept and love others and ourselves again, in spite of a rough history or bad track record.  Mercy is certainly not a simple happily-ever-after story, but if we really work at it – if we push through the uncomfortable, the awkward, and the humility – we can discover something truly beautiful.

Questions for Reflection:
Where am I finding it hardest to follow through in mercy?
Where can I invite in God’s grace to help me be humble and persistent enough to heal relationships with others, God or myself?

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Amy Ketner
Originally from the Flint area, Amy first moved to Ann Arbor to study sociology at UM (’13). As an undergraduate, she found a home away from home at St Mary’s.  After graduation, Amy volunteered for two years in Santiago, Chile through the Jesuit Volunteer Corps.  She recently returned to the United States and is excited to be back at SMSP working part time as a Campus Ministry Associate.
Email: aketner@smspnewman.org