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Epilogue and Postscript

“Mercy is most empowering, liberating, and transformative when it is directed at the undeserving. The people who haven’t earned it, who haven’t sought it, are the most meaningful recipients of our compassion. Walter genuinely forgave the people who unfairly accused him, the people who convicted him, and the people who had judged him unworthy of mercy. And in the end, it was just mercy toward others that allowed him to recover a life worth celebrating, a life that rediscovered the love and freedom that all humans desire, a life that overcame death and condemnation until it was time to die on God’s schedule.” Bryan Stevenson, Just Mercy, p. 314

And so Walter got to die on God’s schedule. His story of redemption and resurrection, all the stories of the broken and discarded, the long suffering, in this beautifully sad book ring in my ears the imperative to do more. We must in hope go down into the dark places of fear and bigotry, and be as Bryan Stevenson describes, the “stonecatchers” catching the stones of injustice. We must expand our circles of compassion and friendship to include people who don’t look like us. We must care less for our comfort, the appeasement of our righteousness, and allow the cries of the poor and undeserving to break and convict us. We must condemn less and listen more.

After our tiring election and its outcome, an outcome that stripped away the delusion that white America, my America can’t be that racist, I needed a listening place. I traveled back to my home in the hills of West Virginia with three parishioners to participate in adult week at Nazareth Farm. We did our chores, put on roofs, built ramps, and painted walls but mostly we listened. We stood in a circle in an empty kitchen before any work was done and listened to a man talk of suffering and love. He talked of the pain that prevented him from bending and the love of his wife willing to wipe his bottom and his pride that prevented him from accepting. He talked of fixing up this house so he could bring his adult son home to him, a son going blind and dying of a degenerative disease. In the end, we broke our circle and I thanked him for sharing. I told him it sounded like he had been walking a hard road for a long time. He told me of a terrible darkness so deep that he was ready to kill himself, a shotgun on his lap, and he would have pulled the trigger but for the love of his wife and grandchild catching him and pulling him back- another stone caught.

At the end of the weekend, I walked down to the creek. The sun was shining and I waded into the cold water looking for heart-shaped stones. We will pray with these stones the way God was revealed and I will give them to my sons when we return. A staff member noticed me there but did not recognize me. He shouted, “Bill, is that you?” and I cry, “Yes, it is me.”

Though there will still be suffering and darkness ahead, the sun is shining, there is hope, and I am standing in the water catching stones, the only place I need to be.

Bill Alt 

Chapter Fifteen: Broke ain’t bad

“There is no wholeness outside of our reciprocal humanity.” Bryan Stevenson, Just Mercy, p. 289

My heart ached amidst Mr. Stevenson’s despair, anguish, zeal, and weariness as he reached his epiphany: we are whole in our human brokenness. Unfortunately, American culture prizes perfection and individualism, and our legal system cultivates “otherness” (designating ourselves as “Leaders and Best” probably doesn’t help owning our brokenness, either).

People end up on the right side of the law or the wrong side. American criminal justice presumes things were right before a crime was committed and a punishment sets things right. Yet, when has our world ever been “right”? Being “right” proffers a veneer over our brokenness. Mr. Stevenson eloquently advocates for us to own our brokenness and thus our shared humanity. This is how we can love each other and God as we are asked to.

Christ came to a broken world, “a fatally broken situation,” and stayed. The Triune God allowed Jesus to be broken, executed, and resurrected for our salvation. Chapter Fifteen made me reflect about everyday humans who inspire me to stay in broken situations, like Christ did.

In February 1996, a high-level UM administrator, Dr. John Matlock, PhD, an African-American, was arrested by University police during a congested campus activity. It was an ugly incident. At the time, I hoped he would take the legal route and win. Months later, both parties brought a peaceable end to this heated dispute. http://ur.umich.edu/9596/Jul23_96/artcl04.htm. Deep inside me, I knew he’d chosen the right path, forgoing possible legal vindication. I was fortunate to meet him as a young staffer at UM.

He did not deny his own experience. But for a variety of reasons, notably the many communities he was a part of and served, Dr. Matlock let go of the lawsuit (the charges against him were simultaneously dropped), forgave, stayed, and engaged yet more deeply with the campus-wide issues of racism his situation had further illuminated. His witness – “losing” for the community’s greater good – continues to inspire me.

Dr. Matlock’s choice, like Mr. Stevenson’s, like Christ’s, inspires us to switch sides, join the “losing” teams, and stay in broken situations together. The graces we need – Compassion, Solidarity, and Mercy are given in our brokenness, not our perfection. No easy task for “Leaders and Best.” Can we become “Shepherds and Broken”? “The Victors” might sound different, too. “Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have crushed rejoice” (Psalm 51:8). Broke ain’t bad.

Rainey Lamey is a resident-parishioner, works at UM, hails from Montana (way back when), and is pretty sure if God’s Messengers didn’t have wings, they’d use bicycles.

Chapter Fourteen: Cruel and Unusual

“They [children] are the products of an environment over which they have no real control – passengers through narrow pathways in a world they never made.” Bryan Stevenson, Just Mercy, p. 270

In Chapter 14, we learn of Bryan Stevenson’s efforts to convince the judicial system to ban the practice of sentencing juveniles to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Stevenson implores the courts to recognize that adolescents’ decision making capabilities remain profoundly shaped and constrained by environments over which they have no control.

How often do we fail to give children the benefit of the doubt? Are we too quick to judge a child’s behavior at church, in a store, or on the soccer field? I know I did until my wife Kathy and I found ourselves struggling to understand why our son Matthew often over-reacted to situations that were new or unpredictable. In time, we learned that the basis for Matthew’s behaviors were neurologic; he had difficulty processing sensory information. In the course of helping Matthew navigate these unpredictable environments, my wife Kathy and I learned an important lesson: all kids want to do well . . . they want to succeed . . . they seek affirmation and lack malice. A child or adolescent acting “poorly” needs our support and compassion, not our disapproval; their parents need our understanding and resources, not our judgment.

In reading this chapter, I was struck by the number of environmental factors influencing a child’s behavior over which they have little or no control. Some, like Matthew’s, are primarily neurologic; others are psychiatric, or social, or influenced by race, education, or socioeconomic status; many are combinations of the above. Thankfully, Bryan Stevenson convinced the Supreme Court that the influence of these environmental factors on an adolescent’s decision making capabilities should preclude our harshest of sentencing practices to this age group. The ongoing challenge for our society is to recognize the inherent and fundamental goodness in all children; to create environments that reflect and reveal the very nature of God equally present in each of them. Lastly, Stevenson leads me to believe that our greatest challenge is to apply these principals to all individuals, irrespective of age; perhaps therein lies the true meaning of “Just Mercy.”

John Osterholzer is originally from the Flint area and has been a parishioner at St. Mary’s since arriving on campus as an undergraduate 26 years ago. He’s a faculty member at the Medical School working primarily at the VA hospital. He and his wife Kathy were married at St. Mary’s and the parish remains central to the faith formation of their three children (Matthew, 14; Danny, 12; and Sarah, 10).

Chapters Twelve, Thirteen: More hope, mercy, justice

“‘I am lucky. I got help that most women can’t get. It’s what bothers me the most now, knowing that they are still there and I’m home. I hope we can do more to help more people.’” Marsha Colbey, speaking at the EJI benefit dinner, p. 241

Marsha Colbey is compelling us to act. It is not enough for me to work to raise kids who are not entitled, who are compassionate, who care about others. It is not enough for me to buy the occasional Groundcover. It is not enough for me to every once in awhile volunteer for something. It’s not enough when there are women who are in jail for the simple reason that they are poor. Living in my safe, secure world, I have what I need and feeling safe in that is not enough. I am called to act. I am called to do something about the injustices in the world.

I can’t even imagine what it must have been like to be Colbey, just a few short weeks after delivering her stillborn son, arrested and charged with capital murder. Here is a woman who couldn’t afford prenatal care, who was doing what she could to provide a stable, loving home for her other six children. It seems so wrong that we would arrest and jail a woman who obviously needed our kindness and compassion instead.

This book is a constant challenge to me. Each page I read asks what am I doing in my life to work towards justice, towards mercy. And this goes beyond working towards getting wrongfully convicted people out of jail or fixing our justice system. Those are the big things. It goes to what I can do on a daily basis to help. And that starts with me spending the time figuring out what I can do with my gifts, how I can best serve.

In this chapter,  Stevenson writes, “We need more hope. We need more mercy. We need more justice” (241). We need to be the people who bring that hope, that mercy, that justice. We are being called with each page of this book.

Monet Tiedeman is a resident parishioner at St. Mary’s. She is a blogger of all AAPS Board of Education regular meetings (http://annarbivore.com), a photographer, a wife to her best friend, and a mother to three of the coolest kids around. She is passionate about public education, civic engagement, and camping.

Chapters Ten, Eleven: Restorative Justice

“The ‘free world’ became perilous for deinstitutionalized poor people suffering from mental disabilities. The inability of many disabled, low-income people to receive treatment or necessary medication dramatically increased their likelihood of a police encounter that would result in prison or jail time. Jail and prison became the state’s strategy for dealing with a health crisis created by drug use and dependency. A flood of mentally ill people headed to prison for minor offenses and drug crimes or simply for behaviors their communities were unwilling to tolerate.” – Bryan Stevenson, Just Mercy, p. 188

I was born and raised in Cincinnati and saw few homeless or mentally ill persons in my suburban neighborhood or the downtown area during my early years. The initiative to move the institutionalized people with mental illness back to their communities really gained momentum when I was a young nurse in the 1970s and 1980s. As the number of people with serious mental illness on the public streets grew, so did the disparaging comments from family and friends regarding these people who were often categorized as “drunks,” “winos” and “drug addicts.” They were often perceived as unwilling or unable to get a job, and therefore, they were considered unworthy of kindness, help or even a smile.

It wasn’t until my most recent professional position that I had the privilege to work with adolescents and their families who suffered from mental illness. Most of these families were low income, single parent families whose economic challenges coupled with little family or church support resulted in unstable living arrangements and sustained stress. One young, African American teen with psychoses was being raised by his mother in a large family with limited income and resources. The family moved three times during the 3 years I worked with them and had little in the way of possessions. His mother was determined to keep this young man in school and away from gang activity and other negative influences, such as illegal drugs. However, the young man had difficulty sleeping and would wander the neighborhood at night; he was paranoid and would refuse to take medication or stay in school; and he could be influenced to steal from local merchants. All of these behaviors resulted in encounters with police and time spent in the Youth Home.

Reflecting on this young man’s challenges in our society and those of countless others like him, I can’t help but feel that Jesus is disappointed in our response to the needs of the mentally ill. Our primary goal cannot be a “one size fits all” solution that can be delivered “equitably” and “universally” at a “reasonable” cost. Jesus didn’t heal groups of people or types of illness collectively. He healed individuals’ needs after asking what the person wanted Jesus to do for him/her. Our society has traded one prison (the mental institutions) for another (correctional facilities). Neither solution addresses the needs of the individual suffering a chronic mental condition, nor asks as Jesus does, “what do you want me to do for you?” Especially in the case of those individuals suffering from mental illness and facing criminal charges, restorative justice practices that focus on individual needs more clearly reflects the Lord’s healing message.

Nancy Terhar is a retired, pediatric nurse who is married and has 2 young adult children. She enjoys singing, hiking and biking and is currently coordinating court watching in Washtenaw County juvenile delinquency court.

Chapters Eight, Nine: Not one more

“Forced back to South Central, blocks from where his brother was murdered, Antonio struggled. A court later found that ‘[l]iving just blocks from where he was shot and his brother was killed, Nunez suffered trauma symptoms, including flashbacks, an urgent need to avoid the area, a heightened awareness of potential threats, and an intensified need to protect himself from real or perceived threats.’” Bryan Stevenson, Just Mercy, p. 155

As a social worker who treats children with trauma backgrounds, I find Antonio’s situation heartbreaking. Antonio’s traumas and losses—like many of the children I see in therapy—started early in his life. He grew up in a neighborhood and home that was filled with violence; his mother had significant mental health problems; he had no one to attend his school events. Then, as if he had not already suffered enough in his 13 years, Antonio was shot by a stranger. His brother, Jose, heard him yelling for help and rushed to his side. Tragically, Jose was shot and ultimately killed in his attempt to protect his younger brother.

I cannot imagine the depth of Antonio’s sadness, and, perhaps even worse, the survivor’s guilt about his brother losing his life to save Antonio’s life. Who did Antonio talk to about these intense emotions? Who helped him through his grief?

On top of the inevitable grief and confusion and anger, having to return home to the same neighborhood must have been horrific for Antonio. The trauma and loss reminders would have been everywhere—maybe the favorite corner store where Jose would buy snacks after school, maybe the park where Jose and Antonio played when they were younger, maybe running into Jose’s best friend. Not to mention having to pass by the site of Jose’s murder.

I try to imagine my 13 year old self losing one of my brothers in this way, and it gives me goose bumps. And then, I try to imagine having a loss like this without bigger, stronger, wiser, and kind adults to support me. The thought of this makes me want to cry. I am certain that I, like Antonio, would have been on high alert at all times and desperate to find some way to protect myself. I also know that I would have been eager to find some sense of community.

All of these human desires ultimately led Antonio to accompany two men twice his age in committing some crimes. In the end, Antonio became the youngest U.S. citizen sentenced to life in prison without parole for a crime in which no one was injured.

As I reflect on the course of Antonio’s life, the question that keeps coming back to me is who was there to help Antonio shoulder the immense pain that life brought him? Our court system eventually acknowledged that he was suffering from trauma reactions that “intensified his need to protect himself from real or perceived threats,” but that was only after he was sentenced to die in prison. What good does that acknowledgment do for a child behind bars?

My hope is that Antonio’s story motivates each one of us to do more, earlier on, to help children and families who have been traumatized. We have good trauma informed interventions, but we need to make sure that all families can access these treatments. I cannot tolerate the thought of even one more child falling through the cracks in our system.

Cait Hanley is a lover of Ann Arbor and a long time parishioner of St. Mary’s. She is a social worker who does child therapy with a wide range of ages, but she has a special place in her heart for working with young children. For fun, Cait enjoys spending time with her family, friends, and her two dogs, Jonathan and Susie. 

Chapters Five, Six: Black Lives Matter

“‘We’ve all been through a lot, Bryan, all of us. I know that some have been through more than others. But if we don’t expect more from each other, hope better from one another, and recover from the hurt we experience, we are surely doomed.’” Mrs. Jennings, as quoted speaking to Bryan Stevenson in Just Mercy, p. 126

Black Lives Matter. Three small words that have sparked a debate in this country surrounding the issue of police brutality. For me, these are three small words that I feel that I have been screaming for so long and I have become so tired. I can’t bear to watch another video of a black man being fatally shot and I am horrified that we as a nation have become so desensitized to these shootings that we feel comfortable oversharing images of death.

Me reading this book (and subsequently writing this blog post) comes during a time where I just want to give up. I have been so outspoken in person and on social media about police brutality, and racism in general, and yet, every day, it seems like there’s another shooting. I have tried to walk the walk. I have proudly and indignantly worn my Black Lives Matter shirt. I have joined Colin Kaepernick’s protest and started to kneel in the stands during the national anthem at football games. And yet, it feels like nothing is changing, or will ever change. And I can’t handle it. Especially at a place like the University of Michigan, and even St. Mary’s, where I (being a black and white mixed-race person) look around and see nothing but white people.

My best friend from home, who is black, frequently texts me telling me how hard it is for her to go her classes where she is the only person of color; how hard it is for her to look around and know that those other students aren’t at all affected by these events. And because they can never understand your pain, they definitely don’t understand your anger so you try to keep it down. And people don’t understand that that is so exhausting.

I feel absolutely defeated by racism and by police brutality and honestly, reading this book is nearly too much to handle because I just want to give up. But I can’t. Because there is so much more than needs to be done and needs to be said. Because if I can’t speak out, why would anyone else? Because people here need to be made aware of these issues. And because black lives do in fact matter.

Madison (Maddie) Jones is originally from Lansing, MI, and is a junior studying Communications and American Culture. She is serving at St. Mary’s as the Outreach and Engagement Intern for this school year. With a black father who has worked in the criminal justice system, Just Mercy has struck a nerve with her and she hopes that this book might help to enlighten people and spark a well-needed conversation within the parish.