Updates

Accepting Grace

Written by an undergraduate student on Good Friday of the Lord’s Passion

This past spring break, I traveled to Guatemala on a medical mission trip. The organization that I traveled with had many projects in this country, and one of them was constructing wells in areas that desperately needed them. After hearing all week about how amazing this well was, I developed pretty high expectations. When my group finally visited it, I was a bit underwhelmed. This well was simply a concrete cylinder protruding from the ground with a metal spigot covered by some plywood and cloth. Initially, I failed to see what all the excitement was about. Then, a member of my group explained the massive impact that this well had. Built on the property of a woman and her son, this well had transformed the lives of hundreds of people. The family and the surrounding families had received a long-lasting, sustainable source of clean drinking water, which had the power to free them from the water-borne illnesses so common in this area, the long, arduous trips to wells much farther away, and the poor hygiene that is a side effect of living in certain conditions.

Jesus is the water of life that rejuvenated a dry, sin-ravished world. He cleansed us from the sins that tarnished and wounded our souls. He was human, He was tempted, and He was afraid, but He never sinned. Full of trust, He followed His Father’s will, and in turn, was exalted.  In an awe-inspiring fulfillment of God’s plan that began with that original Good Friday and culminated three days later with the Resurrection, Jesus was the atonement for a fallen world.

However, even 2000 years later, many of us still feel the pain and burdens of sin. Caught up in our failures, it’s easy to forget that Jesus already carried the Cross and reconciled us with God. He is like the well in Masagua, Guatemala: a never-ending source of renewal, healing, and life. The cool thing about wells is that they can be built wherever there is need, since groundwater is present beneath virtually all land on earth. If you dig deep enough, you will be able to find clean water. In all areas of our lives, this “living water” is present just below the surface, found with just a bit of digging. Jesus is standing with open arms, ready to take us into His embrace, forgiving and healing us. All we have to do is to accept His grace.

“But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” -John 4:14

Questions for Reflection:
In what areas of your life can you open yourself up to God’s mercy and healing?
How can you better trust in the Lord’s will, even if the current road is difficult?

Given up for YOU

Written by Kelly Dunlop on Holy Thursday (Evening Mass of the Lord’s Supper)

On an exceptionally warm Friday afternoon in December, I crossed the street from the historic hotel where I had gathered to get ready with my girlfriends to the Newman Center to marry my best friend. The church was beautifully decorated with poinsettias and greenery from the Christmas celebrations just days before as I linked arms with both my mom and dad to walk down the aisle. When the doors to the chapel opened, I was moved to tears to see this space that I loved and had worshiped in for many years filled with our friends and family from across the globe, each who we held precious memories with and shaped our experiences in diverse ways.  Despite the hundreds of times I had previously walked down that exact same aisle I would not be able to ever do so again without some recollection of this moment- one of my most favorite from our wedding day.

Celebrating Holy Thursday at St. Mary’s for me taps into a similar experience. Regular 10 o’clockers, it is rare I get to celebrate mass with a majority of the students, grad students and residents I serve and work with in other capacities of parish life. Holy Thursday feels like a fantastic family reunion as I get a moment to catch up with a few of our alum who have traveled in to celebrate the Triduum with St. Mary’s. Some of our snowbirds have just landed back in Michigan after months away in various warmer climates. Many of the youth we have watched grow up are home from college to celebrate Easter with their families. Rather than 6 different liturgies as is our Sunday practice, we are gathered as one community.

I imagine Jesus experiencing some of these same feelings as he gathered his dearest ones around him in gratitude and love for this precious meal. “This is my body, given up for YOU.” Period. Without conditions. Not when you are pious, perfect, compassionate, generous. Not you who are religious, Christian or Catholic. Just YOU- as you are. And if that weren’t enough, following the institution of the remarkable gift of himself Jesus drops to his knees to wash the feet of his disciples. He sets a model for all of us of what self-gift really means.

In December, my husband Paul and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary and if there is one thing we have learned thus far it is a life promised is not the same as a life practiced. When the wedding day and honeymoon are over, one has to choose daily (sometimes multiple times within the day) to love. It is much easier to say I do to “in good times and bad; in sickness and health” on your wedding day than in the messier parts of life. As a Eucharistic people, we are sent out to serve, to love, to struggle with. As each of us walk down the aisle this weekend to receive Jesus, may our “Amen” resound as our commitment to love and serve in good times and bad.

Questions for Reflection:
Within hours of his beautiful and intimate gathering with friends, Jesus is in agony, terror, pain, physical distress and eventually dies. Can you and I love so deeply as to enter into those places with another? To care without curing? To love without judgment? To allow parts of ourselves to be broken?

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Kelly Dunlop
Kelly was delighted to join the campus ministry staff at St. Mary’s in 2011. Before coming to St. Mary’s, Kelly was the associate director for social justice at the Newman Parish at her alumnus the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill where she studied psychology (’02) and social work (’05). While her heart still bleeds Carolina Blue, she and her family (husband Paul and children Conor and Erin) have truly come to find a home in Ann Arbor.
Email: kldunlop@umich.edu

Focusing on Christ

Written by Elise Huber on Wednesday of Holy Week

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit: Dear Lord, Thank you for the sunshine today and how it warmed my body and soul. Thank you for the great conversation I had with my sister that made me feel relaxed and forget about my stress in that moment. Help me to feel more peaceful about my future and be okay with the unknown…. Should I have submitted that application for the job next year? I don’t know. What about my classes? I can’t focus anymore. That is exam is coming up and I am not ready. Oh, and I need to write that paper. Where is my computer?…

This Lent has been blurred. My prayer quickly dwindles away as distractions compete for my attention. I have not been able to focus on my work or on God. My mind travels too fast which ultimately leaves me feeling alone and unaccomplished.

Despite the difficulties, I still would not call this a failed Lent. Instead I see it as a stagnant Lent. I have stood still looking around trying to focus on where God is working in my life and find some direction to follow. Only, my vision has been blurred.

Now we have entered Holy week and are reminded of the story of our Lord’s Passion. In today’s reading we hear about Judas and I can only imagine that he was experiencing the same lack of focus and that his vision was clouded by the views of the world.

“What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?”

Not long after he asks that clouded question, I can only imagine that his vision is quickly pulled into focus as he realizes what is happening and as he witnesses our Lord giving His life to save us. I have been distracted like Judas and Holy Week is giving me an awakening of the purpose of life. Christ is about to come into focus.

Questions for Reflection:
What has clouded your vision of Christ?
How do you relate with Judas as you experience Holy Week? How do you relate with Judas as you look back on your Lenten journey?

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Elise Huber
Elise is a senior at the University of Michigan studying Ecology and Evolutionary Biology with future plans to attend medical school to become a primary care physician. In addition to medicine, Elise is passionate about building community and growing in faith through conversations such as those in Small Church Communities (SCC). She joined her first SCC her freshman year and fell in love with the program. She has been honored to serve St. Mary Student Parish as the SCC intern this year.
Email: eahuber@umich.edu

Written on my Heart

Written by Jeff Hatgas on Tuesday of Holy Week

This past semester, I spent a lot of time researching and implementing team building exercises in an attempt to re-energize the retreat team training that my office has used for years.  I thought that all of this work would pay off in a greater depth of sharing from the students.  Yet, when it was all said and done, I was left seeing the same results.  Honestly, as someone who does this for work, I was deflated.  All I could think was, “Where did I go wrong?” To make matters worse, for a retreat focused entirely on one’s unique call by God, I felt that I was stumbling on my own path toward ministry.

As I took some more time to sit and meditate on this experience, the initial feelings settled down, and I was able to see things more clearly.  Sure, I might have “toiled in vain” (as we see in today’s first reading) with regards to my overarching expectations, but despite this, there were moments of grace in the process.  I needed to take time to redirect my gaze to the little moments–the joy of my own learning, the witnessing of the growth over time in the students leaders, and having yet another reminder for my need to hold myself gently in all things. Although this particular moment felt like a failure—because of the way I had framed it—I know that my that it’s important to take a wider view with the work that I’m doing.  Once I do that, I can sense that it’s bearing fruit—even if I can’t always see it.

This memory is a jolt to my system in remembering that no one has ever gotten through life without bumps along the road. Working through this experience, has helped me to reorient myself toward what I may be invited to by God. It is also a reminder for me to process both the joys and pains of my life with others as I continue to discern the name God has so tenderly written on my heart.

Questions for Reflection:
What do you do to bounce back from disappointment?
How do your experiences help orient you to your unique calling?

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Jeff Hatgas
Jeff is currently pursuing his Masters in Theology and Ministry at the Boston College School of Theology and Ministry. He worked as a Peer Minister at St. Mary Student Parish during the 2013-2014 academic year.
Email: hatgasj@bc.edu

Slowing Down

Written by Andrew Zak on Monday of Holy Week

Yesterday we celebrated Palm Sunday. At the beginning of Mass we were singing Hosanna’s and proclaiming Jesus as our king. And less than 10 minutes later, we heard how he was betrayed by Judas, denied by Peter, falsely accused and sentenced, forced to carry a cross, and put to death. In the longest Gospel reading of the year, one great irony is that everything in the life of Jesus seems to happen so fast at this time. In less than 24 hours Jesus goes from sharing a meal with his disciples to sharing Himself totally for us. And so much in between.

How do we even begin to contemplate all that has taken place?

Stop. Breathe. And for a moment, just be.

There is a lot to take in, especially from the Gospel we just heard yesterday. While Palm Sunday may be a shock to our system in some sense, it quickly puts Holy Week in perspective. But in the coming days, we will experience these same events again, only this time a bit more slowly during the Triduum. So what’s in these first few days of Holy Week, in the “calm before the storm” if you will?

Perhaps it’s a chance to catch our breath. To bring our Lenten preparation to a culmination. To begin our journey with Jesus through His suffering, through His dying, and through His rising.

On this Monday of Holy Week, let us ask God for the grace to enter more deeply into His saving act of merciful love.

Questions for Reflection:
Where am I on my personal journey with Jesus at the start of Holy Week?
How can I be open to receiving God’s love and mercy this week?

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Andrew Zak
Andrew graduated with his Bachelor’s (2014) and Master’s (2015) Degrees in Chemical Engineering from Cleveland State University. He moved to Ann Arbor in the fall of last year to start his PhD in Chemical Engineering at U of M. Andrew enjoys being actively involved at Saint Mary’s as a catechist and sharing great food and conversation with the Grad Student & Young Professional group. When he’s not in the lab or at Saint Mary’s, he can likely be found on the basketball court.
Email: azak43@gmail.com

Called to Audition: You Have Been Cast

Written by Fr. John Ferone, SJ on Palm Sunday of the Lord’s Passion

There is one drama, one story: OUR story; the story of the body of Christ as it continues to unfold in every age, and we play all the roles.  And perhaps that is why the Church in its Palm Sunday liturgy invites the congregation to participate by assuming the voices of many of the characters in the Passion narrative.

At times this is surely uncomfortable, as we take our place in a congregation which asks for Barabbas over Jesus, yells “crucify him” and asks that his blood be on us and on our children.  But in fact, if we think contemplate the text, the passion story and the story of our passions is not something foreign to us.  How many of us, like Peter, have ever been over sure of our commitment in the face of danger?  Or have denied knowing someone when they were in trouble?  How many of us, like Judas, have lost our idealism and have betrayed our mission or rebelled against the very enterprise or person that we initially felt so drawn to.  How many of us have ever accused someone falsely or scapegoated another?  How many of us have taken away another’s good name or thrown fuel to the fire through gossip?  How many of us have been a Simon of Cyrene for others and helped shoulder the burden of another?  How many of us have ever stood at the cross of someone who was helpless or sick or dying?  Or how many of us have actually been on the “other side” of the station and have known the experience of Jesus who was betrayed, mocked, abandoned, denied, helped, consoled, or accompanied in our cross, our pain, our dying?

The WAY OF THE CROSS, the way of ego deflation.  The cross is always ego deflating.  It always throws us radically into an experience of our own incapacity to save ourselves, to fix ourselves, to maintain control, to “figure it out.” It is an emptying, a kenosis, a letting go, a jumping into the hands of a merciful Father, an experience of Jesus who prayed, “Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.”  It is a process that leads us to know personally and experientially, that in the end, the Father has the final “piece in the puzzle of our lives.”  And that it is the Father who eternally and unconditionally loves us as it was in the beginning, is NOW and ever shall be.  And that every role we play as part of the grand story, is claimed by Jesus as part of HIS story and will be taken up in glory.  For all that the Father has given him will come up to him and will be raised on the last day.

SPOILER ALERT!!!  It is a Divine Comedy, not a Divine Tragedy!  STAY TUNE TO NEXT SUNDAY!

Questions for Reflection:
As we approach this Holy Week experience, what character do you most resemble at this time?  Allow the Lord to deal with you.
When was the last time you had an “ego deflating moment?”  How did you deal with it?

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Fr. John Ferone, SJ
Email: jferone@smspnewman.org

The Bounty of the Altar

Written by Michael Miller on the Solemnity of St. Joseph, Spouse of the Blessed Virgin Mary

New Orleans, Louisiana has a special place in my heart. It is where I graduated from college, learned how to cook red beans & rice and fell in love with my wife. Every so often, I crave crawfish boils, sno­balls and beignets so badly that the only cure is to get on a plane and go visit. This time of year, I also remember a Catholic tradition I first encountered there -­ the St. Joseph altar.

The tradition of the St. Joseph altar has its roots in Sicilian culture. After experiencing a drought, prayers, asking the intercession of St. Joseph, were answered and the crops thrived once again. A special table was prepared with the harvest. After honoring St. Joseph, the harvest feast was shared with others, particularly those most in need.

Italian immigrants brought this tradition to New Orleans and, over the years, St. Joseph altars have become increasingly elaborate. The tradition, however, remains much the same – honoring the legacy of St. Joseph. Because he is the patron saint of workers, travelers and immigrants, the feast of the St. Joseph altar is shared with those in need. Whether located in an individual’s home or in a Church cafeteria, no one is turned away from enjoying the bounty of the altar.

In this Jubilee Year of Mercy, the St. Joseph altar can be a reminder of God’s abundant mercy — shared with everyone in need. While I certainly crave New Orleans cuisine from time to time, my craving for God’s love and mercy endures. Today, on this feast of St. Joseph, I will ask God for the grace to grow in the practice of hospitality and to better share the love and mercy I receive with everyone I encounter.

Questions for Reflection:
Am I experiencing any spiritual droughts in my life? Am I bringing these to prayer?
Where do I see workers, travelers and immigrants in my community? How might I share God’s love and mercy with them?

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Michael Miller, Jr.
Michael is the Regional Chief Mission Officer for Saint Joseph Mercy Health System. He studied philosophy at Loyola University New Orleans (BA ’01), liturgy at Aquinas Institute of Theology in St. Louis (MA ’07) and bioethics at Loyola University Chicago (MA ’15). He and his wife (Sarah) hang out with their daughter (Ella) and dog (Tipitina). He prefers Hansen’s Sno­Bliz, but would never refuse a trip to Plum St. Sno­Balls.
Email: michaelmillerjr@gmail.com

The Hard Questions

Written by Katy Rapson on Friday of the Fifth Week of Lent

A good friend of mine once told me that some years are years of questions and some are years of answers. Thanks to my “early 20s”, every year for the past few has felt like a year of questions: questions of love, career, relationships…faith. When it comes to the faith questions, I’m extra hard on myself because my faith used to feel so easy, so…stable. And because these questions seem so hard, I mostly deal with them by ignoring them. If I just put faith further down on my priority list, I can just find stability in other things, right?

A few months ago, my boyfriend Chris asked if I wanted to meditate with him (something he asked me every once in a while). “Sure,” I’d always say, but would really think, “uggghh wouldn’t you rather watch How I Met Your Mother?” Every time we meditated, it would go something like this: we’d close our eyes and start the timer and I’d quiet myself physically, but refuse to quiet my mind. Instead I’d just follow the thoughts of my to-do list until the bell chimed.

But this time, I was being pulled deeper inward. I fought it, begging to stay surface level, but within minutes, I was silently sobbing, having this inner dialogue:

Me: I can’t deal with this right now, I can’t face these questions. It’s too hard.

God/Love/”I am”: That’s okay, I love you anyways.

Me: But why? I don’t understand. I’m a mess.

When the bell chimed, Chris opened his eyes and looked at me, shocked. I quickly buried my face in his chest and sobbed even harder, telling him what I’d experienced. “Sometimes I wish someone would just tell me it’s okay that I’m struggling so much…” I said.

Chris looked at me lovingly and responded, “Didn’t God just do that?”

God showers us with mercy and love 100% of the time. And honestly, that’s really hard for me to understand, and even harder for me to receive, especially when I feel like I’ve fallen short. It’s easy to think that God’s call to mercy doesn’t include us being merciful to ourselves. But it does, and that’s worth being reminded of.

Questions for Reflection:
Are there places in my life where my lack of mercy towards myself is preventing me from receiving God’s mercy and love?
How can I be more gentle and loving towards myself, as God calls me to be?
How can I be a reminder to others of God’s love and mercy and remind them to be merciful to themselves?

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Katy Rapson
Katy is a U of M grad that never left Ann Arbor or St. Mary’s. She works at the University of Michigan Taubman College of Architecture as an Admissions Representative, helping high school and college students find their home in the undergraduate architecture program. She is also involved with other SMSP Intern Alumni in building an Intern Alumni Network and supporting the current Interns.
Email: rapsonka@umich.edu

Finding Mercy in a Familiar Place

Written by Jon Perry on Thursday of the Fifth Week of Lent

We have all heard the passage of Jesus walking on water many times, but I want to call to attention something we all struggle with. This is a great example of the daily trials we face as Catholics. We all think we know it all sometimes and I know I personally will do anything to avoid asking for help. There is certainly no problem with being motivated, driven and excited about attaining a goal we have set forth for ourselves. Certainly it is God’s will, to utilize the talents and gifts He blessed us with to reach our goals. The mistake we often make however, is believing that we as humans and children of God are expected to walk this journey alone. We frequently get lost in our desires and believe we are capable of doing it all on our own.

After we challenge Jesus as Peter did, we begin to walk on the water (traverse whatever challenge we may face) without issue. We believe that we can handle it; we are overcoming the issue by ourselves. We couldn’t be more wrong. As the story goes, “But when he saw how (strong) the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” Isn’t it true that every time we come to a point we cannot pass, we call on Jesus? We thought before we could handle it by ourselves, but it was our faith and trust in Jesus that kept us going, kept us safe. As soon as we begin to doubt Jesus, we begin to sink.

We often deal with disappointment, failure and a sense of not knowing. We feel confident in whatever we are doing, but as soon as we shift our focus off Jesus and on to our own personal agendas, we begin to sink.

At the end of the passage we encounter Jesus’ forgiveness. “Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him ‘Oh you of little faith, why did you doubt?’” This is Jesus saying, “Why are you taking all of this on by yourself? I am here to help you, keep your eyes focused on me and together you can achieve anything.”

Questions for Reflection:
Now thinking about the grace and forgiveness Jesus offers, can you think of a time you tried to rely on yourself to accomplish a goal?
When you were not successful, did you quickly turn to Jesus for blame?
Spend a few minutes reflecting on the fact that Jesus isn’t upset with you for your sin and for ignoring/blaming Him, he loves you eternally.

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Jon Perry
Jon is a junior studying Sport Management within the School of Kinesiology at U of M. He is 21 years old, intends to graduate in 2017 and is from Farmington, Michigan. In addition to being involved at St. Mary’s, he is a member of the service fraternity Alpha Phi Omega, the social Christian fraternity Beta Upsilon Chi and plays on the U of M Club Baseball team.
Email:perryjon@umich.edu

Happily Ever After: A Lesson in Mercy

Written by Amy Ketner on Wednesday of the Fifth Week of Lent

Sometimes romantic comedies and Disney love stories really frustrate me.  They always seem to end at the fairy-tale moments – the kiss, the proposal, the happily-ever-after.  Well, anyone who has been in a long-term relationship (I imagine especially those who have been married for many years) can attest to the fact that relationships are never simply a happily-ever-after.  They are complicated, messy and a lot of work, and there is pain, growth and beauty in that.

In a similar way, I often find myself struggling with Scripture stories.  They are packed with parables and moments in Jesus’ life in which he shares powerful messages for all to hear and learn from.  But many times they leave me desiring more.  For example, in last Sunday’s Gospel about the woman who was caught in adultery, the story ends when all the scribes and Pharisees leave Jesus alone with the woman.  None have condemned her after all, and Jesus said “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.”  The story ends there.

I can’t help but wonder what the scribes and Pharisees continued to feel and reflect upon that day.  Did they truly forgive the woman or did they continue to judge her?  And the woman – was she able to forgive herself?  I find it harder to forgive myself than others, even when I know God has already shown mercy on me.  Perhaps that woman also experienced what I experience.  I wonder if it was hard for her to “sin no more”.

In thinking similarly about the Prodigal Son, I ponder the story from a new angle, as Fr. Eric encouraged last week.  My new angle is one not mentioned in the parable: what happens after the party??  After any big falling out, it’s often uncomfortable or awkward to start rebuilding the relationship, even when forgiveness has been granted.  Can you imagine how the older brother must have felt as he learned to let go of his pride and love his brother again?  Or the younger brother as he let go of his shame and let his family back into his life?

Mercy is messy.  It’s a long process of letting go of pride and hurt, of being humble and letting others back into our lives.  It’s learning to accept and love others and ourselves again, in spite of a rough history or bad track record.  Mercy is certainly not a simple happily-ever-after story, but if we really work at it – if we push through the uncomfortable, the awkward, and the humility – we can discover something truly beautiful.

Questions for Reflection:
Where am I finding it hardest to follow through in mercy?
Where can I invite in God’s grace to help me be humble and persistent enough to heal relationships with others, God or myself?

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Amy Ketner
Originally from the Flint area, Amy first moved to Ann Arbor to study sociology at UM (’13). As an undergraduate, she found a home away from home at St Mary’s.  After graduation, Amy volunteered for two years in Santiago, Chile through the Jesuit Volunteer Corps.  She recently returned to the United States and is excited to be back at SMSP working part time as a Campus Ministry Associate.
Email: aketner@smspnewman.org