Lenten Blog

First Things First

Written by Fr. Joseph Wagner, SJ on Holy Thursday

“What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later.”

But why?  Why could Peter not understand “now” what Jesus was doing by washing his feet? We all understand, don’t we?

I think there is a very good reason that Peter did not understand, and I think it’s the same reason that many of us, many Christians, and far too many preachers don’t understand either.  At that moment, Peter had not yet seen what the next 72 hours would reveal.  Peter had not yet abandoned Jesus.  Peter had not yet felt the pain of loss, the sting of guilt, the utter absence of hope.  Peter had not yet seen what he, what the crowds, what the authorities were capable of doing.  Most importantly, he had not yet seen what God’s response to it all would be.

In short, he had not yet seen what Love beyond all love looks like.  He had not yet seen just how far God was willing to go to convince us of that love.  He had not yet seen, not yet felt, not yet accepted—not yet even imagined—how much forgiveness our God is capable of.  And because of that, it had not yet changed him.  Peter had not yet had his life turned upside-down by love.  He could not understand, as his feet were being washed, that the love of Jesus could become—if he accepted it—the same love that could flow through him.  He could not yet understand that only by allowing love to change him could he become the means by which love would change others, transforming their lives, healing broken hearts, feeding the hungry, forgiving enemies.

But not yet.  It couldn’t happen yet for Peter, as it cannot happen for any of us until we allow God’s love to transform us.  Until we accept it—until we place our faith in it in a way that makes a difference—until then, any call to us to wash each other’s feet will seem only like a nice gesture, like an empty task, like an intrusive burden.

Questions for Reflection:
Does the call to live your Christian identity feel like a burden or flow out of love?
Love cannot flow through you unless it first flows into you.  Are you willing to let God’s love for you transform your life?

*Image (above): The Washing of the Feet by Ghislaine Howard (2004)

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Fr. Joseph F. Wagner, SJ
Fr. Joe is a Jesuit priest and Associate Professor in the Department of Mathematics and Computer Science at Xavier University, Cincinnati.  He is currently enjoying a research sabbatical in Ann Arbor, and enjoying even more all those he has met at St. Mary Student Parish.
Email: jwagner@smspnewman.org

Love One Another

Written by Aaron Skiba on Wednesday of Holy Week

So here we are; we have arrived at the pinnacle of Lent: Holy Week.  Tomorrow is Holy Thursday in which we celebrate the last supper and Jesus’ act of washing the disciples’ feet.  I find this act astonishing; the Messiah, the King of the Universe stoops down and washes His friends’ dirty feet.  When have you seen or heard of such a humble act being performed by a famous or powerful individual?  I imagine you can think of very few instances, since honestly I can’t think of any.  Taking this a step further, could you see yourself conducting such an act?  To be honest I can’t envision myself doing this, especially right before a celebratory meal.  However, such humble and loving acts are precisely what Jesus calls us to do.  Specifically, right after washing the disciples’ feet Jesus gives us the commandment to: “love one another.  As I have loved you, so you should love one another.” (John 13:34-35).

This notion of loving one another has been a paramount theme throughout my Lenten journey.  For in all honesty, at times I can be a rather self-centered and impatient person. Thus my goal this Lent was to give more time to those in need and to be more patient with others.  Though I still struggle to be patient and I often find myself focusing on my personal priorities rather than others’ (particularly those in need), just giving a small portion of time and simply being conscious of the fact that I’m called to sincerely love everyone has brought peace to my life.

To increase my awareness of this call to love, I have spent time contemplating what it’d be like to love every person I encountered on a daily basis. By love, I mean sincere love like the love a mother has for her son or a husband his wife or a father his daughter.  Think about it, what would this be like and how would you treat the individuals who crossed your path each day?  Genuinely loving everyone in this way is precisely Jesus’ commandment; and sadly it’s taken me this long to realize and appreciate it.  And I know it will take the rest of my life to learn to love in this way and even then I won’t be perfect at it because love is difficult.  Love takes time and effort and it challenges us to be selfless, which directly contradicts the ideas society imposes upon us.

However, we must not forget the key fact that Jesus loves us and even though we will never perfectly reciprocate this love to others our efforts to do so are very pleasing to Him.  Furthermore, through these efforts, though they are very difficult at times, we will be filled with the peace and joy God longs for us to experience.

Therefore, as we enter into the Triduum, I humbly invite you to reflect upon the love you have experienced and provided throughout this Lenten season.  In light of your reflection I hope and pray that you may fully appreciate the love Jesus showed us through his Passion and death so that you might be motivated to love everyone you encounter throughout the Easter season.

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Aaron Skiba
Aaron is a PhD student at the University of Michigan studying Aerospace Engineering.  He has been a part of the St. Mary’s community since he started his undergraduate degree in 2007 and is currently part of both the Graduate/Young Professionals and SCC lead teams.  
Email: skiba@umich.edu

Be Not Afraid

Written by Peggy Sheagran on Tuesday of Holy Week

Today’s gospel reading acknowledges Jesus’ awareness that Judas would betray him.  “One of you will betray me…” I often try and picture this scene, especially during Holy Week.  Imagine the disciples glancing around the room, wondering who Jesus’ betrayer might be.  A few disciples may have even feared that they themselves might be Jesus’ betrayer, given the fear and uncertainty they all were undoubtedly experiencing.  Imagine the disciples thinking – I want to trust, to unconditionally believe, but I get scared sometimes.

In the 1998 bestseller, Who Moved My Cheese?, the author asks a profound question:  “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”  The disciples had reason to be afraid as they listened to their beloved friend forecast his impending death at the last supper.  They had reason to be afraid as, while their friend reassured them that he would “rise in three days”, what in the world did that even mean?  They had reason to be afraid, after hearing that someone in the room would hand Jesus over to individuals who would eventually take his life.  While perhaps not to this extreme, we all have reasons to be afraid.  But, do we allow those reasons to prevent us from living the life Jesus has in store for us?

So, what would you do if you weren’t afraid?  If you wholeheartedly trusted that Jesus was protecting every hair on your head, what would you do differently in your life?  Would you change majors to follow your heart? Would you express your feelings more truthfully at the risk of not being “liked”?  Would you forego some income to redirect your career to find your dream job?  Would you let go of an addiction despite the fear of embarrassment or exposing your need for help? Would you acknowledge Jesus’ soft (or sometimes not so soft) nudge to go in a different direction at the risk of being less “in control”?

Maybe it’s time to make a spiritual bucket list of the things you’d do if you knew Jesus would guide and protect you every step of the way…because He would.

Question for Reflection & Suggestion for Prayer:
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?  Find some quiet time to make a list.
Read/sing the words to the song: “Be Not Afraid”.

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Peggy Sheagren
Peggy grew up in Ann Arbor and has been a resident for all but eight years of her life.  She’s a grateful wife and mom (2 boys), and a proud UM alum.  She currently works in UM’s School of Kinesiology.
Email: sheagren@umich.edu

Carry the Wisdom

Written by Jeff Hatgas on Monday of Holy Week

As Easter rapidly approaches, I look to how I might carry the wisdom of Lent beyond these 40 days. During these past few weeks, I recommitted myself to intentional conversation with God. Not surprisingly, these conversations allowed me the space to reflect on my day-to-day experience, but also enabled me to re-center myself. As a result of this practice I found myself asking for eyes to see in a new way. Having just lived through the harshest winter of my life, I’ve quickly grown into mental frame of cold and gray. I’ve missed opportunities to be grateful. I’ve allowed myself to quickly compartmentalize all that I experience—to live it and move on. My prayer pushed me to try on a different frame of mind: to soak in the encounters of my day, push past those things which get under my skin, to see the “god-ness” in those that get on my nerves, and to praise God in the complexity and beauty of creation (yes, even in the snow and slush).

Today’s reading furthers this challenge. Not only are we called to say, “yes” to opportunities to love, but also asked to do so with passion. Although our responses may not always be as monumental as Mary’s towards Jesus, I look to her example as one to emulate. I pray that I have an everyday courage to greet the truth in every day. While each of us has a unique set of gifts, we are filled with the Spirit. Our ways of embodying this Spirit in our happenings will undoubtedly play out differently, but we are all called to be light to all we encounter.

Question for Reflection:
How do I not only recognize, but also anoint the Jesus that I meet in all of creation?

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Jeff Hatgas
Jeff is currently pursuing his Masters in Theology and Ministry at the Boston College School of Theology and Ministry. He worked as a Peer Minister at St. Mary Student Parish during the 2013-2014 academic year.
Email: hatgasj@bc.edu

Check-in for Lent

Written by Courtney Lambesis on Palm Sunday of the Lord’s Passion

Take a minute and think about how you would answer this question:

What things do you do to know God?

I’ll bet that your answers sound a lot like this:

• Read your bible
• Go to church
• Keep His commandments
• Pray daily
• Spread the news of the Lord
• Ask for forgiveness from sins

The list goes on and on… and that’s the problem. For many years I believed that to be close to God I had to follow a checklist of things that would please God. If I skipped church, sinned, or was judgmental about someone, I had disappointed Him. In order to make things right with God after I messed up, I believed I had to reverse these habits and be perfect. Someone in my Small Church Community called this mindset an attempt to earn ‘Jesus points.’

Go to church= +2 points

Say something mean to someone= -3 points

Pray= +1 point

Etc.

This is an exhausting cycle that causes us to feel unloved, and causes our desire for God in our lives to diminish. If we feel we can never please Him, it extinguishes our desire to try.

While I’m sure God is pleased when we do decide to read our bible, pray daily, or be kind to others, these things aren’t conditions for His love. In fact, His love for us is unconditional! There is not a single thing we can do to make His love for us less than it is!

So knowing that we don’t have to earn God’s love, how does God call us to live our lives?

The answer is simple: Love.

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God, and every one that loveth is born of God and knoweth God. He that loveth not, knoweth not God, for God is love. In this was manifested the love of God toward us: that God sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.” -1 John 4:7-9

Jesus died for our sins in the ultimate act of love; He IS love. Therefore no matter what we say, do, or believe, we cannot possibly know God unless we love. That “checklist” I believed was necessary for God’s love should not be done out of fear of disappointing the Lord, but instead be viewed as graces from God that allow us to grow closer to Him. This Holy Week, may our goal be to love God and love others as unconditionally as God loves us.

Questions for Reflection:
Are there ways you in which you feel you have disappointed God that you need to let go of?
In what ways do you show love towards God and others best?

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Courtney Lambesis
Courtney is a sophomore majoring in Microbiology at the University of Michigan.  She serves on the lead team for Small Church Communities at St. Mary Student Parish.
Email: lambesco@umich.edu

Peace Is Only Found In Yes

Written by Elaina Jo Polovick on Saturday of the Fifth Week of Lent

As the semester is coming to a close (more quickly than I want to accept) I have started seeing deadlines approaching. I think about all the events I need to plan and decisions I need to make about choosing which graduate school I’ll attend next year. I know that now is the time to say yes, but I’ve been struggling to find peace in my yes. I was struck by today’s reading from Ezekiel where we are called to say yes to the covenant that God offers us:

 I will make with them a covenant of peace;
it shall be an everlasting covenant with them,
and I will multiply them, and put my sanctuary among them forever.
My dwelling shall be with them;
I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

Unlike many things in our busy lives there is no deadline to respond to this offer from God. When I reflect on this covenant in which God offers us peace and unconditional love, I find myself feeling more open to saying yes. In saying yes to God’s promise of peace I have begun to find peace in my yes to the graduate school I’m being called to. As I struggled to pray about my yes, I came across this prayer: Peace is only found in yes.  (Anthony de Mello, SJ)

This resonated deeply with me. I found myself saying yes to God’s covenant, and finally to the graduate school I believe I’m being called to. As I say this yes, I feel a peacefulness within myself. Peace is found in saying yes.

Questions for Reflection:
What are you called to say yes to?
How can we enter into God’s covenant of peace more fully as we prepare to enter into Holy Week?

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Elaina Jo Polovick
Elaina Jo is one of the peer ministers at St. Mary Student Parish. She works with the special events team as well as a smattering of other programs.
Email: epolovick@smspnewman.org

Taking a Leap of Faith

Written by Chandler Missig on Thursday of the Fifth Week of Lent

Have you ever felt that you live life on the safe side? Do you go through daily routines without ever stepping outside of your comfort zone? This is the way I have always been. I have always found comfort in the predictability of my life, even in terms of my faith. However, when I went on my Alternative Spring Break trip to Nicaragua, this all changed. I have finally learned the value of getting out of my comfort zone in order to say yes to God and His love.

One “yes” I said was when I applied to be a site leader for Nicaragua. Although I was slightly nervous to lead a group in a foreign country, I felt a sense of empowerment that allowed me to say yes without much hesitation. When I received news that I was chosen to site lead, I knew that God was saying yes right back to me.

Another “yes” I experienced occurred on the third day of my trip. My group spent the week in Nicaragua constructing a house for a single mother, Angelica, and her three children. Every day, a different group of us was able to spend time tutoring Angelica’s children in English. When it was my group’s turn to do this, I felt slightly distant due to the language barrier. I was sitting next to Angelica’s 14-year-old son Sandro and as the minutes ticked by, I began to feel the Holy Spirit working on my heart. Barriers seemed to fade away and be replaced with intense feelings of joy. I was convinced that I saw God through Sandro’s smile and enthusiasm. Later that day, he untied a bracelet he had on his ankle and retied it onto my wrist. Tears filled my eyes and joy filled my heart. Sandro’s love and selfless act enabled me to break through barriers I had placed around myself and wholeheartedly say yes to God’s presence and love.

In order to experience the unconditional love that God desires for us to have, we must be willing to step out of our comfort zone, take a leap of faith, and allow his love to change our hearts.

Questions for Reflection:
Is there a time you can think of when you took a step outside what was comfortable to experience God in a new way?
How can you try to have an experience like this during Holy Week?

Chandler Missig
Chandler is a junior majoring in Biopsychology, Cognition, and Neuroscience.  She is currently St. Mary’s intern for Family Faith Formation. After graduating, Chandler hopes to pursue a Master’s degree in Secondary Education.
Email: chanmiss@umich.edu

Journeying with God

Written by Elise Huber on Wednesday of the Fifth Week of Lent

I have been hiking for a while on a trail through the mountains within a deep forest full of lush pine trees. The trail has changed from paved to gravel to dirt. I have gone up hills and slid down into the valleys. I have seen waterfalls and wildlife. The sun has peeked through the clouds, but is now hiding again. It looks like it is going to rain. I slow down because a fog is settling in and I lose my vision. Before I know it, this fog is surrounding me completely and I can no longer see the trail. I stop. Looking around and asking God to lead me, I see a hand reach out to me through the fog. I recognize that it is God’s hand and want to grab it immediately, but some fear inside of me holds me back. Where are you going to take me? Why can’t I see where I am going? Why do I feel so lost? I have to trust God and grab his guiding hand, but it is not an easy task.

We are all on a journey with God. You may be in the mountains, in the ocean, in a corn field, or on the beach. It might be sunny and warm, or rainy and cold. You could feel happy and adventurous or maybe you’re timid and scared and you have stopped walking. Where ever you are, God is always with you and is always asking for you to say “yes” to him in different ways. Maybe you need to go down the path to the left rather than the right. Maybe you need make the jump over a stream that may seem just a little too wide to make it across. Maybe you need to let someone join you on your journey. Maybe you see God’s hand and you need to take hold of it, trusting that he will lead you where you need to be. I invite you to imagine your journey with God. Imagine where you are, noticing what the weather is like, what you are wearing, and how you feel. Pray with this image and see where God is asking you to say “yes.”

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Elise Huber
Elise is a junior studying Ecology and Evolutionary Biology.  She is recently back from St. Mary’s Alternative Spring Break trip to the Dominican Republic and hopes to one day become a physician.
Email: eahuber@umich.edu

Prayer and God’s Will

Written by Aaron Berkholz on Tuesday of the Fifth Week of Lent

“Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” (Matthew 6:8)

My family has been blessed to have participated in the Family Faith Formation program for six years. It has provided not only a learning experience for my family, but the student catechists are an example of selflessness. I was once in college, enjoying all that Ann Arbor had to offer. Teaching religious education to a group of 3^rd graders at 8 o’clock on a Sunday morning would not have been high on my list of priorities.

As part of this year’s program, the parents were asked to read “A Well Built Faith – a Catholic’s Guide to Knowing and Sharing What We Believe” by Joe Paprocki. A thought provoking concept in the book is that we do not pray to influence God, but instead to bring us into alignment with God’s will. This can be a difficult concept to recognize during those trying times in our lives; the loss of a job, the illness of a family member, or the passing of a loved one.

I personally think of the passing of my brother during my time in college, and my understanding of prayer as a younger person. I could not fathom why God had not answered all of the prayers that were raised on Ryan’s behalf. I was raised Lutheran, but we had Catholics, Seventh-day Adventists, and a variety of other faith traditions praying on Ryan’s behalf, just to make sure we were covered.

Looking back, now I consider the fact that while it was not God’s will that Ryan be miraculously healed, he provided Ryan with the strength to persevere, despite the serious health challenges he experienced. Ryan was an example of living the faith. Ultimately that was the Father’s will for Ryan, as it is for all of us.

Question for Reflection:
When we pray, are we praying for a specific outcome to a difficult situation, or for the Father to bring us into alignment with His will?

Aaron Berkholz
Aaron met his wife, Tina, during their college years at the University of Michigan. They were married by, and all three of their kids were baptized by Fr. Bill Lanphear at St. Mary Student Parish. He is a civil engineer, working at OHM Advisors in Livonia.
Email: harleyberk@hotmail.com

Now Is the Time to Say Yes

Written by Brittany Tobias on the Fifth Sunday of Lent

I can remember a time when I thought I’d have it all figured out by the age of 25. After all, my parents had met in college and wasn’t that just the perfect place to fall in love? By 25 I’d have my dream job, be married to my dream husband, and we’d definitely be living in my dream house. On my 25^th birthday I found myself recently laid off, broken up with, and living alone in a slightly charming, dilapidated vintage studio in Chicago.

It was easy to say, God why am I here in this place? It was easy to feel like I needed to be saved. I felt so alone, out of touch, and definitely overlooked. There was no possible way this period of utter despair could be part of a bigger plan.

Desperate to keep my life somewhat together, I quickly said yes to the first job I was offered. With that came new responsibilities, coworkers, and an increased awareness of self. At this point I was mostly going through the motions of daily life, hoping for more but knowing that I had missed my personal deadline.

Two and a half years later, at age 27, I had no idea my life was about to change. I had recently broken my leg and foot and was battling the 5 feet of snow on the narrowly shoveled streets of Chicago like a crab on crutches. My future husband Ryan walked into our office. We met and I learned we’d be working side by side and literally sharing a cube. As our friendship grew into something more, I realized that our shared Michigan roots and love of classic novels, boating, and traveling could be what I’d hoped to find by age 25.

At age 29 while overlooking Salzburg, Austria on a foggy afternoon, Ryan finally asked the question I thought I’d never hear. And I said yes. I still claim that he never actually said more than so will you, repeatedly, merely implying the marry me part. But he could ask a million different ways and million different times. I will always answer yes.

Since then, our journey has brought us much love and success as we start life together in Ann Arbor. I can easily cross off husband and job from my 25 year old self’s checklist and truly believe that the younger, naïve version of me isn’t disappointed but instead is my biggest fan.

This spring, as we begin to navigate the challenging Ann Arbor housing market, I can only hope to say yes again soon… all the while praying for patience.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VCNhKS-SCo]

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Brittany Tobias
Brittany joined SMSP in September and enjoys living on the Old West Side and exploring Ann Arbor. Recently married, Brittany and her husband Ryan relocated to Ann Arbor from Chicago. Brittany brings eight years of marketing experience in commercial real estate and advertising to SMSP and is excited to enhance our communications platform!
Email: btobias@smspnewman.org