2015
In the Dark
Written by Sarah DeWitt on the Fourth Sunday of Lent
“To be human is to live by sunlight and moonlight, with anxiety and delight, admitting limits and transcending them, falling down and rising up. To want a life with only half of these things in it is to want half a life, shutting the other half away where it will not interfere with one’s bright fantasies of the way things ought to be.”
– Barbara Brown Taylor, Learning to Walk in the Dark
In the past several weeks I have been sitting with this notion of darkness and what it means and what its purpose may be. It seems perhaps that my timing for this reflection is odd as we embrace the longer, lighter days of spring and as I prepare to welcome into the world what is sure to be the brightest light of my life, my child. But daylight that lasts until ten in the evening does not exist without the deep black of the night sky. And the beautiful joy of a new life does not eradicate our own mortality – rather perhaps it even reminds us how fragile life is.
We are so focused on the movement from darkness to light, as we assume that this is the proper direction in which to go. As if the darkness is a weakness to be overcome. As if darkness is a physical, emotional or spiritual state from which to retreat, recoil and recover.
Some pieces of our lives will take place in what feels like total darkness. The unknown calling that we try to name. The diagnosis of a terrible tumor. The loss of a meaningful faith community. The death of a small child. The void when we cannot hear God speaking.
I am learning what it means to sit inside those dark moments without attempting to flee, allowing my eyes to adjust enough to identify new graces that flow exactly through the darkness. I was recently reminded that Christ was laid in a tomb, a cave with the entrance sealed. Resurrection itself began in the dark.
Darkness is not the place or state in which God is absent. Instead it seems that as we come to know and embrace the dark, God may begin the most profound transformations within us.
Questions for Reflection:
Where is God in the dark?
What transformation awaits you there?
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Sarah DeWitt
Sarah has been part of St. Mary’s since 2009. She manages the Ann Arbor Farmers Market. Sarah and her husband Steve are expecting their first child in April.
Email: sardwtt@gmail.com
2015
God Loved Us First
Written by Lisa Hirsch on Saturday of the Third Week of Lent
In today’s Gospel parable, Jesus contrasts the self-righteous attitude of the Pharisee with the humble honesty of the tax collector. I can sometimes see myself as that Pharisee. As a mother thinking my way of parenting is better than those people whose kids are acting up in church and forgetting when my own children were that age and what a struggle it was to help them make it through Mass. As a volunteer working with the guests who came to our warming shelter, feeling anxious or fearful about their presence, instead of humbly admitting that they were not that different from me.
For me Lent is the time to remember that God loved us first. There is no fasting that I can do that will make amends for my sin. There is no perfect prayer that will show enough gratitude. There is no amount of almsgiving that can repay God’s generosity to me. The Pharisee prayed and fasted and tithed from his whole income. He followed the rules and did the required practices. And yet he missed the point. Those practices aren’t magic or some kind of check list that God requires of us to be holy. Rather they are only useful if they are drawing us closer to the mercy and love of God and leading us to be that mercy and love to others. The tax collector wasn’t doing any of these requirements and yet Jesus says that he is the one that “went home justified”. He simply acknowledges his unworthiness and asks for God’s mercy. He knows he doesn’t deserve the incredible gift of God’s love but he believes that God’s mercy and love are greater than any sin he has committed.
As God says in Hosea: “it is love that I desire, not sacrifice”. Our prayer, fasting and almsgiving can lead us to listen to God’s will for our lives, to open our eyes to the suffering of those on the margins and to give love and mercy to people in need. But first we need to approach God with humility and gratitude.
Questions for Reflection:
At this half way point in Lent, take some time to re-examine how your Lenten practices are working. Are the prayer, fasting and almsgiving that you are doing drawing you closer to God and other people?
Is your attitude one of humility, recognizing God’s great love and mercy for us? How might this attitude and your practices lead you to act with mercy and love toward others?
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Lisa Hirsch
Lisa has been a resident parishioner of St. Mary for over 20 years. This year she joined the staff as the Social Justice Ministry Assistant.
Email: lhirsch@smspnewman.org
2015
A Heart Divided Against Itself…
Written by Abby Braun on Thursday of the Third Week of Lent
I am a peacemaker—in my family and circles of friends, in my work as a campus minister, and in most areas of my life. I’m also a people-pleaser. If someone disapproves of me, or if people around me are arguing, I feel unsettled and rush for the easy solution. When possible I avoid conflict and seek harmony over discord. So I struggle with the kinds of words that Jesus uses in today’s Gospel: demon, divided, armed, attack, against. I prefer the Jesus who invites us to love our neighbor as ourselves, who gathers little children in his arms and promises us a life of joy and peace. The Jesus we encounter in today’s Gospel makes me uncomfortable.
Yet Jesus didn’t come to make us comfortable. Jesus came that we might have life, and have it more abundantly. Of course as Christians we are ever aware, especially in this season of Lent, that the life Jesus offers will not be without struggle, suffering, discomfort, and yes, the dreaded conflicts.
“Every kingdom divided against itself will be laid waste.” The image that keeps coming back to me, as I imagine myself in this Gospel story, is the image of my heart as a “kingdom.” The reign of God enters into the world first and foremost through the human heart. Jesus, then, asks me to consider, “How is my heart divided?” How is my attention, my energy, my love, my life divided between things that are of God and things that are not of God?
Where is the good news in all of this for a peacemaker like me? Jesus doesn’t stir up conflict for conflict’s sake. He invites us into places that are uncomfortable so that we can be set free and become more loving, more generous, more joyful – more of who we were created to be. He invites us into a peace that is deeper and far more profound than the absence of conflict. And God does not let us walk alone on the journey toward a united kingdom, a united heart. Jesus is indeed with us always until the end of the age, healing our brokenness and shining light into our lives.
Questions for Reflection:
Does anything from the Gospel or Jesus’ way of being make you uncomfortable? What might this mean? How is the Holy Spirit guiding you in the midst of your discomfort?
What areas of your life (or your heart) feel divided? Where/when do you feel most at peace and united with God? How might you make more space for those things that are of God?
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Abby Braun
Abby has served as a campus minister at St. Mary’s since 2012. After studying theology as an undergraduate student at the University of Notre Dame and Pastoral Ministry as a graduate student at the University of Dayton, Abby worked for four years as a Campus Minister at Saint Louis University where she met her husband, Bob. She is especially grateful to be a part of a Jesuit Parish that serves a University community. Abby works part-time at St. Mary’s and spends the rest of her days at home/toddling around Ann Arbor with her one-year-old daughter, Eleanor.
Email: aabraun@umich.edu
2015
“I Blew it Off”
Written by Sarah Paquet on Tuesday of the Third Week of Lent
A Lenten riddle: what is by your side night and day, always wanting to help you out, connecting you to a world you’ve never seen and ready with answers to any question?
I wish I could say my answer is ‘God,’ but unfortunately in my case, the answer is ‘my phone.’
We’re all familiar with the way technology has become a concrete part of our lives, and whether we find it sinister or benevolent is really up to us, I suppose. I know that in my case, my phone is my number one tool for distraction and procrastination. If I’m bored in class, I turn to it without hesitation. When I don’t want to finish an assignment, I check Facebook. Lately I’ll spend a few minutes checking my phone when I park my car just because I don’t want to walk out into the cold.
What complicates my relationship with my phone is the people it connects me to. Taking Buzzfeed quizzes at my convenience is one thing, but responding to every single email and text can be a little exhausting. So, I tend to filter what I respond to, responding quickly to things I deem “important” and slowly (if at all) to things I don’t value. Yes, technology connects us, but it also makes it a lot easier to blow things off than if contact were made face-to-face.
I’ve spent some time away from my phone this Lent. The phone-free world offers a few uncomfortable things: people I find a bit difficult, classes I find a little boring, and silences that would otherwise be filled by thumbs clicking away. The interesting thing is not these daily challenges, which certainly everyone experiences, but what we choose to do with them. Uncomfortable situations don’t go away when we avoid them, and it turns out confronting them is a significantly richer experience. Further, confronting them often forces us to act – a boring class isn’t so boring if you participate, and silence leaves space for attempts at meaningful conversation.
It turns out life is more interesting when you’re paying attention.
Questions for Reflection and Suggestion for Prayer:
Consider your own relationship with technology. Does it distract you? Do you feel like it better connects you to the world?
The next time your phone or computer requests your attention, see what happens if you ignore it.
The Punch Brothers have a lot of interesting things to say about the role technology plays in our lives on their recent album The Phosphorescent Blues. This song is a good starting place:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zkiiJBXq8I]
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Sarah Paquet
Sarah is a 1st year master’s student in the choral conducting program at Yale University. She graduated from the University of Michigan in 2012 and spent the following year serving as a Peer Minister at St. Mary Student Parish.
Email: slpaquet@gmail.com
2015
Joy in the Desert
Written by Sharon Diotte on Monday of the Third Week of Lent
We focus a lot on the suffering of Lenten sacrifice, but this season also offers special gifts of joy. The benefits of giving up something that does not serve your highest good are boundless.
Some years ago, when living on Easter Island, I became addicted to cigarettes. Everyone around me smoked, all day long. I was unable to kick the habit while I was in that environment, but when I walked the tarmac and climbed the stairs into the plane that would carry me back to the US where no one in my social circle smoked, I was filled with a delirious glee in knowing that I no longer needed to feel controlled by the sickening addiction. A great weight was lifted. I felt light and buoyant. Of course there were endless benefits to being freed from the addiction.
Each Lent, Jesus asks me to follow him into the desert of my own vision quest, inviting me to give up something that does not serve my highest good. Sometimes it is a addictive habit that is stagnating me – worry, jealousy, doubt, insecurity, fear, pride; there are many. Sometimes I need to give up eating sugar or white flour because those things are sapping my physical strength. It’s hard to resist addictions all by myself. But the beauty of Lent is that I am not alone. Jesus sits here with me in the desert.
My St Mary’s family is also here with me. I am comforted and inspired by so many of you who share your experience with me through this Lenten blog. In this loving space, we travel the Lenten journey together, learning from each other. Here, the work of freeing myself from my addictions becomes joyous. I feel light and buoyant.
I am blessed to be a member of this spiritual family.
Questions for Reflection:
In what ways do you feel our spiritual family supporting your Lenten experience?
Is there someone among us that needs your personal support? What might that look like?
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Sharon Diotte
Sharon is a retired parishioner at St. Mary Student Parish.
Contact: sharondiotte@hotmail.com
2015
Now is the Time to Act
Written by Rachel Conner on the Third Sunday of Lent
When I was younger I had a really hard time making decisions, especially when those decisions involved leaving my very small comfort zone. Friends and family would ask me to go places and do things, and I was filled with anxiety at the thought of leaving my sphere of familiarity. After all, I liked it there and I knew what was expected of me. However, many of the opportunities I was offered seemed fun and exciting and I knew they would give me a chance to live out my faith in a vibrant and tangible way. I often found myself caught between being uncomfortable and unsure and doing something God might be asking me to do. I couldn’t bring myself to decide whether to go or whether to stay, and my indecision ended up becoming my decision.
Then, at the beginning of my senior year of high school, my mom asked me if I wanted to go on a mission trip to Guatemala in the spring. I said, “I’ll think about it.” She heard, “Oh my gosh, I would totally love to go!” After a whirlwind of events that I had very little control of, I found myself with a plane ticket, passport, and a donated gift for the organization I would be working with. I was on my way to Guatemala without ever having officially agreed to go.
Looking back, I am so thankful to have gone on that trip. I encountered Christ in the form of those I was serving and in the leaders of the program. I was the youngest member of the trip by about 40 years, but I was welcomed with open and loving arms by the other group members. I saw how important community was to the people I was serving and how reliance on each other was second nature for them.
I’m eternally grateful that I never got the chance to turn down the opportunity to travel to Guatemala. When I returned I couldn’t help but wonder what if I had missed opportunities because of my indecision. What chances for personal growth had I let pass by? What might God have been calling to in those places I was too worried to go? I resolved from then on to never let a chance pass me by, and to actively reach out of my comfort zone.
God has placed many opportunities before me as he does for all of us, and it’s up to us to take action and respond.
Questions for reflection:
Has there ever been a time when you had trouble making a decision?
What opportunities for action is God presenting you with right now?
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Rachel Conner
Rachel is a peer minister at St. Mary Student Parish for the current academic year. She is originally from central Wisconsin, adores cats, and deeply loves to travel.
Email: rconner@smspnewman.org
2015
To See the Promise Within
Written by Amy Olszewski on Saturday of the Second Week of Lent
The story today of the prodigal son is often a hard one for the faithful to understand. We know, on the surface, why the father greets his wayward son with such fanfare and welcome, but it sure is a tough time for the diligent son who has worked and obeyed his father for so many years. We never know if he grows to share the joy his father has on his prodigal son’s return or if he finds it possible to enjoy that fatted calf dinner.
Oh, how we love things to be “fair” and so we hold on to our grudges — the grade not given, the promotion not received, the girl or boy who went to the movies with your best friend, but not with you. “But, I’m the worthy one”, we say. Our test of faith is to see the promise within. The father sees that his son has come home, repentant of his behavior. He sees a future with two sons, instead of one. He does not look back to the past but towards the future.
God’s love is gloriously abundant and forgiving. The Psalm today says, “He does not treat us as our sins deserve” but treats us as flawless and complete. How lucky we are to be given a fresh start every time we turn to the Lord with a true, open heart and ask for assistance. How fortunate we are to have a God that sees the promise we all have within us to be as He envisions!
Today, may you view the world through God’s eyes, accepting and seeing the promise in the good times and also in the challenges placed before you. Celebrate those challenges, turn your concerns over to the Lord and live in His love.
Question for Reflection & Suggestion for Prayer
What grudge have I carried that needs to be turned over to the Lord today?”
Find joy in another’s good fortune today.
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Amy Olszewski
Amy is a resident parishioner at St. Mary Student Parish.
Email: olszewscy@sbcglobal.net
2015
Open My Eyes
Written by Katie Larin on Friday of the Second Week of Lent
Open my eyes, Lord. Help me to see your face. Open my eyes, Lord. Help me to see.
I am currently in the Dominican Republic, serving on Alternative Spring Break. This week’s theme is “Now is the time to see.” I could not think of a better theme for this week of service. As I encounter new people and communities, people who live lives drastically different from my own, I must remember to see first.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought that you had them figured out? I’m definitely guilty of this. I’ll look at classmates in a lecture hall, friends on campus, or even families at St. Mary’s, and project my own thoughts on them. Sometimes I’ll think, “That person has the perfect life, or that couple must have the most amazing marriage – they would never have trouble or flaws.” Other times, I’ll do the opposite. I’ll assume that the person sitting on the street suffers from addiction and therefore needs help from others, or that the driver who just cut me off is innately spiteful.
In these times, I’m looking, but I’m not seeing. And I’m definitely not taking the time to understand.
To truly open my eyes to the reality of others, I must see as Jesus sees. And in order to see as Jesus sees, I need to ask for the grace to love as Jesus loves. Only in love can we begin to understand another’s experiences. Only in love can we see each person as a child of our Father.
As I have prayed about the trip, one song in particular has continued to play in my head: “Open My Eyes,” from the Voices as One book. I invite you to listen to this song, and think about the ways your eyes could be opened, ways you could love like Jesus and see God’s face, in places we’d never known.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo6gZAUuQ3E]
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Katie Larin
Katie is a senior at the University of Michigan, majoring in Organizational Studies. She is the current Outreach and Engagement Intern, and plans to do a year of service after graduation.
Email: kqlarin@umich.edu
2015
In God’s Loving Gaze
Written by Kelly Dunlop on Thursday of the Second Week of Lent
11pm. 1:10am. 3am. 5:20am. I swore I had only just shut my eyes when the cry began again, sending pangs of anxiousness through my body and necessitating my need to get up. I rolled over to sit on the edge of the bed completely sleep deprived and feeling desperate in a pile of tears.
“I’m not sure I can do this,” I thought to myself.
“How will I get through another day?”
I stumbled to her room to embrace all 8lbs of my little girl. In a zombie like state I made our way to the Lazy boy to nurse. And it was there, in a quiet moment of rocking together in the still wee hours of the morning when our eyes met and locked in with one another, that I was transfigured.
The first few weeks of life, an infant cannot focus much more than a foot in front of them- nearly equal from the breast to the eyes- and researchers have found that as a child gazes upon his/her mother and a mother on their child the brain produces a surge of oxytocin, the love hormone, in both of them. Miraculous. As I gazed into my daughter’s eyes and she back into mine I was completely comfortable, resulting in a deep internal peace and holistic sense of self in the truest sense. How seldom it is that we stare into the eyes of another for any prolonged time, even those we care for most deeply, without pulling away slightly embarrassed or uncomfortable. It was in that mundane and yet sacred moment, that I knew my own belovedness because I saw and felt it gazing back at me.
“This is my beloved Son. Listen to him. “
So often I get caught up in the “Lenten stuff”- the ashes, no meat on Fridays, give up this; give away more; follow the rules and recite the lines. Yet God invites all of us in this sacred time of preparation to rest in God’s loving gaze, with complete vulnerability and to know Him and be known in the most profound way.
Questions for Reflection:
Who are the people in your life whose relationship with God illumines their way of seeing other people and events? What have they taught you?
In what ways are you aware of your own limited vision? What blocks you from seeing more to life than routine or burden?
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Kelly Dunlop
Kelly was delighted to join the campus ministry staff at St. Mary’s in 2011. Before coming to St. Mary’s, Kelly was the associate director for social justice at the Newman Parish at her alumnus the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill where she studied psychology (’02) and social work (’05). While her heart still bleeds Carolina Blue, she and her family (husband Paul and children Conor and Erin) have truly come to find a home in Ann Arbor.
Email: kdunlop@smspnewman.org
2015
Finding Meaning in Service
Written by Jon Perry on Wednesday of the Second Week of Lent
As Spring break approaches, preparations are being made for cross country trips to beautiful vacation spots and back home for some home cooking. I am preparing mentally and spiritually for a whole other type of break. I have the great privilege to be able to travel to Baltimore, Maryland and serve the community there through the Alternative Spring Break program here at St. Mary. This will be my second ASB experience, as last year I traveled to Meridian, Mississippi to work in conjunction with Habitat for Humanity and help rebuild a home for an elderly man.
This opportunity is not new to me, as my faith life has been closely tied with service since very early in my life. From a young age, I was raised in a typical Catholic home and have always attended Sunday Mass and been around my parish several times a week. Throughout grade school and then fully in to high school, I was involved in my parish’s youth group, which was heavily predicated on service. Additionally, I was a member of the National Honor Society where further service opportunities were made available to me.
Up until that point, service was always a great way to give back and use my time in a very proactive and good way. However, when I came to study here at the University of Michigan, I no longer had the opportunity to serve within my youth group or NHS. Without the daily option to serve others, I realized how much of an impact the act of service had on me. I have been extremely blessed again to have found the Service Fraternity Alpha Phi Omega, in addition to St. Mary’s where I can serve others. But this wasn’t all, I have found, through my growth spiritually with God, that the service to others is just as much a blessing for those serving as it is to those being served. Service isn’t just an activity, it’s a lifestyle.
Question for Reflection & Suggestion for Prayer:
How has service impacted your life and what does it mean to you?
Have a conversation with God about how he wants you to serve others.
Jon Perry
Jon is a sophomore studying Sport Management within the School of Kinesiology. In addition to being involved at St. Mary Student Parish, he is a member of the service fraternity Alpha Phi Omega and the student group Students Helping Honduras. He works in the sports section at WOLV TV and plays on the U of M Club Baseball team.
Email: perryjon@umich.edu