First Things First

Written by Fr. Joseph Wagner, SJ on Holy Thursday

“What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later.”

But why?  Why could Peter not understand “now” what Jesus was doing by washing his feet? We all understand, don’t we?

I think there is a very good reason that Peter did not understand, and I think it’s the same reason that many of us, many Christians, and far too many preachers don’t understand either.  At that moment, Peter had not yet seen what the next 72 hours would reveal.  Peter had not yet abandoned Jesus.  Peter had not yet felt the pain of loss, the sting of guilt, the utter absence of hope.  Peter had not yet seen what he, what the crowds, what the authorities were capable of doing.  Most importantly, he had not yet seen what God’s response to it all would be.

In short, he had not yet seen what Love beyond all love looks like.  He had not yet seen just how far God was willing to go to convince us of that love.  He had not yet seen, not yet felt, not yet accepted—not yet even imagined—how much forgiveness our God is capable of.  And because of that, it had not yet changed him.  Peter had not yet had his life turned upside-down by love.  He could not understand, as his feet were being washed, that the love of Jesus could become—if he accepted it—the same love that could flow through him.  He could not yet understand that only by allowing love to change him could he become the means by which love would change others, transforming their lives, healing broken hearts, feeding the hungry, forgiving enemies.

But not yet.  It couldn’t happen yet for Peter, as it cannot happen for any of us until we allow God’s love to transform us.  Until we accept it—until we place our faith in it in a way that makes a difference—until then, any call to us to wash each other’s feet will seem only like a nice gesture, like an empty task, like an intrusive burden.

Questions for Reflection:
Does the call to live your Christian identity feel like a burden or flow out of love?
Love cannot flow through you unless it first flows into you.  Are you willing to let God’s love for you transform your life?

*Image (above): The Washing of the Feet by Ghislaine Howard (2004)

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Fr. Joseph F. Wagner, SJ
Fr. Joe is a Jesuit priest and Associate Professor in the Department of Mathematics and Computer Science at Xavier University, Cincinnati.  He is currently enjoying a research sabbatical in Ann Arbor, and enjoying even more all those he has met at St. Mary Student Parish.
Email: jwagner@smspnewman.org