A Heart Divided Against Itself…
Written by Abby Braun on Thursday of the Third Week of Lent
I am a peacemaker—in my family and circles of friends, in my work as a campus minister, and in most areas of my life. I’m also a people-pleaser. If someone disapproves of me, or if people around me are arguing, I feel unsettled and rush for the easy solution. When possible I avoid conflict and seek harmony over discord. So I struggle with the kinds of words that Jesus uses in today’s Gospel: demon, divided, armed, attack, against. I prefer the Jesus who invites us to love our neighbor as ourselves, who gathers little children in his arms and promises us a life of joy and peace. The Jesus we encounter in today’s Gospel makes me uncomfortable.
Yet Jesus didn’t come to make us comfortable. Jesus came that we might have life, and have it more abundantly. Of course as Christians we are ever aware, especially in this season of Lent, that the life Jesus offers will not be without struggle, suffering, discomfort, and yes, the dreaded conflicts.
“Every kingdom divided against itself will be laid waste.” The image that keeps coming back to me, as I imagine myself in this Gospel story, is the image of my heart as a “kingdom.” The reign of God enters into the world first and foremost through the human heart. Jesus, then, asks me to consider, “How is my heart divided?” How is my attention, my energy, my love, my life divided between things that are of God and things that are not of God?
Where is the good news in all of this for a peacemaker like me? Jesus doesn’t stir up conflict for conflict’s sake. He invites us into places that are uncomfortable so that we can be set free and become more loving, more generous, more joyful – more of who we were created to be. He invites us into a peace that is deeper and far more profound than the absence of conflict. And God does not let us walk alone on the journey toward a united kingdom, a united heart. Jesus is indeed with us always until the end of the age, healing our brokenness and shining light into our lives.
Questions for Reflection:
Does anything from the Gospel or Jesus’ way of being make you uncomfortable? What might this mean? How is the Holy Spirit guiding you in the midst of your discomfort?
What areas of your life (or your heart) feel divided? Where/when do you feel most at peace and united with God? How might you make more space for those things that are of God?
*****************************
Abby Braun
Abby has served as a campus minister at St. Mary’s since 2012. After studying theology as an undergraduate student at the University of Notre Dame and Pastoral Ministry as a graduate student at the University of Dayton, Abby worked for four years as a Campus Minister at Saint Louis University where she met her husband, Bob. She is especially grateful to be a part of a Jesuit Parish that serves a University community. Abby works part-time at St. Mary’s and spends the rest of her days at home/toddling around Ann Arbor with her one-year-old daughter, Eleanor.
Email: aabraun@umich.edu