Ready to Listen

Written by Colleen McClain on Thursday of the First Week of Lent

“[God’s] will for us was the twenty-four hours of each day: the people, the places, the circumstances he set before us in that time. Those were the things God knew were important to him and to us at that moment… The trick is to learn to see that—not just in theory, or not just occasionally in a flash of insight granted by God’s grace, but every day.”     – Jesuit Fr. Walter Ciszek

There are times when God’s voice is unmistakable; even then, it can be difficult to listen. I left for fall retreat exhausted amidst year two of graduate school, my personal and professional life moving faster than I could reflect upon.

The chapel was quiet as we moved around its perimeter, praying the Stations. As we reached the twelfth—Jesus dies—a rush of air blew through the rafters. Whether others heard it, I don’t know. But I prayed that weekend to hear Him more clearly in returning to “normal” life. Quickly, though, daily stressors closed in.

Yet I’m grateful that God works in ways that are not ours: Even when I let His voice seem faint, it remains a constant whisper of truth in each day. As I sat with fellow parishioners on Ash Wednesday, I heard God simply and profoundly. My realization:

This Lent will change me, if I let it.

It will transform me in ways I desperately long for and those only God knows I need. But the first step is mine in our covenant: Be aware of God’s presence. Not only when it’s easy, when surrounded by believers, or when things are great; in the subzero walk to class, when fears take over, and in every frustration and triumph.

I pray for strength in that journey. True, active listening is difficult. It requires openness in moments I’d rather crawl under a rock or believe my way is best.

And it’s terrifying—but beautiful—as vulnerability in any relationship is.

I’m fully aware of challenges ahead. But I know that as I continue to hear Him, my heart will grow strong and supple. I’m grateful Jesus meets me in struggles and fears, embracing me for them. As my mind turns to “what-ifs,” he says: Listen.

Pope Francis asks us to let our hearts “be pierced by the Spirit, so as to bring love along the roads that lead to our brothers and sisters.” Christ walks with us along these roads, speaking within and through us; awaiting the moment we begin not by talking, but by listening.

I’m ready to listen; to say yes; to be changed.

Questions for Reflection: 
When do you find it hardest to listen for God’s voice?
Pray the Examen and be aware of God’s presence. What is He saying to you?

******************************

Colleen McClain
Colleen is a second-year graduate student in the Michigan Program in Survey Methodology, and a member of the graduate student/young professional and Small Church Community lead teams at St. Mary Student Parish. She has been a resident of Ann Arbor for ten years and can’t overstate the impact St. Mary has had on her life.
Email: camcclai@umich.edu